Waiting and Writing

Book Recommendation: The Forbidden Bean

2012-01-04T16:52:00.003-05:00

Forbidden Bean is a new urban fiction novel out today for .99 cents! The first in a series, the book is about Tee, a coffee store manager who finds a bag of magic coffee beans. Eating a bean transports Tee into the body of an insect, leaving her human body running on auto-pilot. As if being in the body of a bug wasn't strange enough, when the magic wears off, Tee finds she has no memory of what her human body has been doing in the absence of her consciousness which = problems. Zombie-body-syndrome aside, Tee finds herself addicted to the beans and to the things she can discover being, quite literally, a fly on the wall. Things like discovering a gun-running, human-trafficking pack of Eastern Europeans who aren't just the espresso drinking slobs they appear to be.

I read this book a while ago (the benefit of knowing the author) and it is so interesting and unique. The idea is completely original and well-executed. Tee's experiences in the bodies of insects are fun to read, as are the repercussions when she returns to her body. Tee undergoes more than one transformation, morphing from a plain, average woman to something of a superhero. Highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys urban fantasy or just an escape from Grinding Reality! (get it!?)

My Resolutions

2012-01-02T20:44:00.003-05:00

I'm not really one for resolutions. I usually forget them by February anyway. But there are a few things I would like to do this year.

I will not leave dirty dishes in the sink for more than a day... er, two days...Umm, I won't leave dishes in the sink until they start to mold. I'm being realistic here, people.

I won't do 3 loads of laundry but then leave the clean clothes in the basket by the washer for two weeks and dig through them daily to find required articles. I will fold them or put them on hangers in a timely fashion.

I will keep my cosmetics neatly organized on the tiny countertop in the bathroom so that my husband has room to keep his things. (Ha! I'm totally lying. That will never happen.)

I will *try* to put my cereal boxes/crackers/granola bars etc. back in the pantry instead of leaving them on the counter. (My husband's pet peeve)

I will help my husband clean the litter boxes now that I have sprung another kitten on him. However, I do give myself credit for informing him of our new arrival before we got him this time, as opposed to "surprising" him as I did the last time I got a kitten.

What can I say? I'm all about keeping it realistic this year!

2011-11-28T01:42:00.002-05:00

I haven't written in a while, and although I was tempted to write a passive aggressive status update on Facebook, I need to get this out fully and know that for the most part only strangers will read it, if anyone.

I was just looking at some old pictures. I don't think I'll ever understand how people can change so drastically. How can you go from seeing someone every single day for years, thinking that you know them better than anyone, and a few short years later not even be able to recognize them? I can't even wrap my head around the fact that this is the same person. You look like a stranger. Someone I've never met, never had any thing in common with, let alone shared some of the biggest events in my life with. But the pictures are still there, proof that once we were that close. A lifetime ago we were best friends.

I am so mad at you. I am so mad that things are the way they are. They didn't have to be like this. I didn't have to feel like this. More than I hate you, I hate the fact that after all this time I still miss you. No. I miss who you were. I don't think the person I miss exists anymore.

Staying hopeful

2011-08-04T18:51:00.004-04:00

We all know things aren't going great in this country. I don't know anyone who hasn't been effected by the economic downturn, my fiance and myself included. I work in a restaurant, and August is never a good month in the best of times. So I haven't been working as much and I definitely haven't been making as much money as I was in the spring. My fiance started a new job a few months ago and recently got promoted to full time with benefits. But he took a pay cut taking this job, which is worth it because he isn't traveling 5-6 days a week anymore. Between the wedding, our bills, credit card and school loan debt, things are tight. And we are both stressed over money.

Then I see the headlines. More layoffs this week. The debt deal crisis. Mounting unemployment with no signs of a recovery in sight. We tell each other "Hey, at least it isn't just us." And you'd think that would make us feel better. Everyone is in the same boat. At least we have jobs when so many don't. At least we can pay our rent. But it doesn't make me feel better to know that others are struggling, many of them more than we are. It makes me feel worse.

My fiance and I are children of the 90's. My parents started out pretty poor in the beginning of their marriage as did his parents, but by the time we were toddlers things were looking up. My parents upgraded from their starter house to their custom built dream home when I was 8. Money was never an issue. There was never any doubt my brother and I would get cars when were 16. We were always told we'd never have to worry about paying for college. We got nice presents at Christmas and birthdays. We went on vacations every year. Never once did I hear my parents say "We can't afford that". The biggest news in Washington was Bill Clinton's sexual escapades.

Growing up in such a time of prosperity and relative peace spoiled me. I was always under the impression that if I did everything right: get good grades, go to college, graduate, my life would be a piece of cake. I'd graduate and get a good paying albeit entry-level job. I'd work my way up and eventually (in my mid to late 20's) I'd open my own restaurant with an investment from my Dad. He'd pay for my wedding and my in-laws the down payment for my new house.

So imagine my surprise when I did everything right....and nothing happened. I couldn't understand it. I still don't. College = good job. That's what I'd been taught. That is not my reality. I'm 24. I should be farther along. I shouldn't be hoarding spare change to pay for my wedding cake.

My fiance takes it even harder than I do. He feels that pressure to be the traditional bread-winner male that our fathers were. If things don't get better, how will we buy a house? How will we raise a family? What will life be like in this country for our children? I pray that things will turn around and that it will be like it was for our parents. Maybe this is all one big cycle. Things have to be tough so that they can get better.

Help! I'm becoming a cat lady!

2011-07-30T19:52:00.003-04:00

Not really. But that is the name of the show I've just discovered and instantly decided to make my favorite. All in the name of research. When my fiance timidly hinted that he might want to change the channel I replied "I can't! This is good for my book!"

Why? The show is about a dating coach who helps women who are on the verge of becoming crazy cat ladies whose only human interaction is when they go to PETCO. She gets into the psychology of why they prefer cats, teaches them how to interact/meet men, makes them over, sets them up on dates, etc. And it just so happens that my MC is a dating coach/match maker (minus the only dealing with cat ladies part). This show just gave me a whole bunch of ideas of things I need to include in my book.

I love that about writing. Finding inspiration/ideas or things that relate to your writing at random times and in random places, like Animal Planet.

The Unfairness of Weddings

2011-07-28T09:59:00.002-04:00

As my wedding approaches (94 days in case you are wondering) I find myself turning into a ball of tension and frayed nerves. My neck muscles have seized up to being rock hard as only happens when I am extremely stressed. I can't sleep, and when I do I have nightmares of every possible thing going wrong on my wedding day.

Let me just say, I wasn't always like this. I started out in complete control of my wedding. Within 3 months of being engaged, I had my dress, my venue, my photographer, my DJ, my bagpiper. I laughed at the women on TV who were freaking out over their weddings. This was so easy! Who needed a wedding planner? Why had I ever thought planning a wedding was difficult?

Things were going smoothly up until about a month ago. The invitations were a nightmare, literally. There was a mistake and they had to be reprinted. The RSVP cards were missing. More printing issues. Finally thought I had them altogether, only to realize as I assembled I only had enough vellum cover sheets for half. Another run-around trying to get the rest.

Then I had to reschedule my hair trial 3 times. Then the expensive personalized memorial candle holder I ordered broke. My in-laws spent days agonizing over the perfect place for the rehearsal dinner and by the way, we can only invite 30 people. Wedding bands are ridiculously expensive. Bridesmaid is MIA. Wedding shower hasn't been planned. Mom wants to hire a videographer. Should look into the marriage license, do they still do blood tests??

This is when it hit me. I'm getting married. This is it.

And now, I turn into a pathetic, cliched Bridezilla. I'm spending thousands of dollars on this one day that I'll never get to have again. It has to be perfect. The unfairness of weddings is the amount of pressure and expectation. It's not like a birthday. If you have a bad one, well, there's always next year. This is every person that you know watching you for an entire day. Judging every detail. These are the pictures and the video that you're going to look back on, going to show your kids, going to remember for the rest of your life.

In one of my nightmares, the ceremony did not go the way I wanted to and in the middle of it I demanded that we start over again. I got up and ran back down the aisle. I always thought the women who stressed over every little detail were ridiculous. It's about the marriage, about what the wedding represents, that's what's important! I thought. Who cares about favors and personalized beverage napkins?

Joke is on me. Because suddenly....I do.

Going Off Track

2011-07-21T16:02:00.003-04:00

The hardest part of writing (well...one of them, anyway) for me is figuring out what to write next. When I start writing, I have a general idea of where I want the book to go. I have the characters, the plot, conflict, motivation, etc., but I don't have a scene by scene outline. I don't have specifics or little details. Usually, they come to me as I'm writing. But sometimes... I go off track.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? You're happily writing along, but you know in the back of your mind this isn't what you should be writing. It's not where the story should be going. In fact, it's not moving the story forward at all. Maybe you know where you need to be, but not quite how to get there. You have a scene in your head that is not quite ready to happen yet and you need a way to bridge to it. But you end up just getting lost. Sometimes you can find your way out and sometimes you have to hit the delete button.

Bribery: A writer's best motivation

2011-07-21T13:51:00.002-04:00

I have found a new way of making myself write. I am easily distracted. I procrastinate. I just plain don't feel like writing even when I should and have nothing stopping me. Which has led me to a new plan of attack: bribery.

The other night, I had promised myself I would write. My fiance works from 7:00 at night til 4:30 in the morning. Meaning most nights I am sitting at home alone. The ideal time to write. But I didn't feel like it. I stalked people from high school on facebook. I looked at wedding stuff. I read. When it suddenly occurred to me I had a package of refrigerated cookie dough in the kitchen which I had bought under the guise of baking them and putting them in my fiances lunch that he takes to work (it's more like late night 2nd dinner, but whatever). But if I baked them now, I could eat one or two when they were gooey and warm. I debated for a while. Then I decided, if I wrote a certain number of pages, I would be completely deserving of a cookie.

So I wrote. And I glanced at the kitchen. I wrote some more. I checked the page number. I'd done it! Warm cookies were in my near future.

Last night, I bought chips and dip and Coke for girls movie night. If I write 5 pages after I post this blog, I'm giving myself free rein to indulge.

This tactic might not be so good for my wedding diet, but my writing has never been faster.

REVIEW: Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares

2011-07-19T12:03:00.002-04:00

Having read the other books when they came out (I was 14? 15?) I couldn't resist reading the last book. I'm a sucker for a series. I love not having to let go of characters as soon as a book ends.

I have to admit, this book frustrated me. It bothered me. I wanted to stop reading. I wanted to throw it (neatly contained in my Kindle) against the wall. I don't want to include any spoilers, but this book was depressing. Flat-out, depressing. The girls (women, I should say because they are almost 30) experience an extreme tragedy and react to it in extreme ways. That was my first complaint. I think I have experienced more grief than the average person, and I still can't see anyone acting the way they did in the book. It came off as very unrealistic and out of character for me. The sisterhood hasn't played a significant role in any of their lives in years and they have all grown apart to the point where you might not even classify them as friends, yet when they finally realize the sisterhood has truly been destroyed they act like it was the only thing worthwhile in their lives.

I kept reading for two reasons: the writing itself was beautiful, and I knew that everything would be resolved in the end. Which of course, it was. I wanted it to be, I was waiting for it to happen, but every story line getting wrapped up in a neat little bow was off-putting. The audience for these books has grown up, I would've thought the story could grow up too. This book wasn't meant for teenagers who can't handle the fact that life is messy and things are unfair and not everyone gets a happy ending. But that's what it felt like at the end, that she just couldn't end the series without everyone being happy and content even though throughout the book they've all been miserable and whiny and depressed. I think she could've ended it on a happy but more realistic note.

In all honesty, I couldn't in my head connect the women in these books to the girls from the first few. It felt like I was reading about completely different people who just happened to have the same names. Maybe it's because it's been so long since I read the other books, but I also think that the author took all of their personality traits to the extreme in this book.

Overall, if you have read the rest of the series and want to know how it ends, I'd say read it. But have a giant hershey's bar and a box of kleenex in easy reach.

Why isn't it easier...

2011-07-18T22:00:00.003-04:00

To forget people who have hurt you? To leave them in the past where they belong and not let them come back, creeping into a future they no longer have a part in? Even when they aren't the ones doing it. When it's you who brings them back, over and over again without them even knowing it?

To remember the people who left too soon? Why do the most important memories fade, slip away, faster and faster the harder you try to hold on to them?

To be honest? With yourself. With the people around you. Why do so many people lie, and lie, and lie?

To stop yourself from being morbid and depressing in blog posts?

To go to the grocery store and not buy chocolate?

Epic Publishing Fail

2011-07-16T20:48:00.004-04:00

Lit Agent Needed (Anywhere)

Date: 2011-07-16, 8:15AM EDT
^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

I have several concepts for books and need the right agent to help facilitate them.

Please send your qualifications showing results.

Location: Anywhere
Compensation: TBD
Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
This is a contract job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

This is a real ad I found on craigslist. Uh, wow. Just wow. I love the "concept" for books part. Agents love representing people who haven't written the books yet. I hope this person writes (or probably just has a concept for) fantasy, because they live in one.

REVIEW: He's so not worth it by Kieran Scott

2011-07-16T14:02:00.004-04:00

Dear. God. I just finished reading this book, like, literally, 2 seconds ago. Why does Kieran Scott insist on leaving me hanging in utter shock and desperation? It is one of the things I both love and hate about her books.

I read this as quickly, or quicker, than I read the first book in the series, She's so dead to us. I have to say, Ally Ryan is one of my favorite YA heroines ever. Top 10, at least. She's so authentic and so easy to relate to. I felt so frustrated for her and all the things that were not going her way. This book and Ally's narration captured perfectly the angst of being a teenager. Hating your parents, backstabbing friends, awkward boy situations...I wish I'd read this book when I was 16 because it would've made me feel much better about screaming at my mom. I'd probably have thrown the book at her and gone "See, this is how I'm supposed to be acting!" Luckily for me, I've left adolescence and shoved all the painful memories way, way down. And my mom has forgiven me for my outbursts. I think.

The book was fast-paced and I raced through it. The narration switches between Ally and her crush Jake, and each chapter is headed with the name of who is narrating it, although a couple of times the names were wrong which threw me off for a second. Jake is a good narrator too and I think she did a decent job of writing like a teenage boy would think. I thought the way Jake and Ally resolve their issues was a tad unrealistic, but I loved it anyway. Everything else, the way things don't get wrapped up in neat little packages, was spot on. Especially when you're a teenager, I recall nothing and no one ever doing what I wanted.

Kieran Scott is an awesome writer and I would absolutely recommend reading this book.

E-readers: Great invention, or greatest invention ever?

2011-07-15T18:00:00.002-04:00

I love my kindle. To be honest, it's my 3rd Kindle. (The reasons why will be revealed later.) For you who don't have an e-reader yet, I have just two words for you. WHY NOT?

Pros:

Convenience. I have the kindle that has the ability to download books anywhere, wireless network or not. Ah-mazing.

Portability. Pre-kindle, I had to bring an extra suitcase on vacation just for my books. I'm the type of person who can read a book in a day, and 1 or 2 books for a week long vacation where I have nothing to do but read is not going to cut it.

Affordability. After the initial expense which can seem steep (but which I never experienced because mine was a gift) the books on kindle are much cheaper than print books. If you read as many books as I do, I think it definitely is worth it. Especially because there are so many books in the .99-2.99 range (although quality is not always guaranteed).

Variety. And ease of finding what you want. Beats a book store any day.

This list could go on and on and on. Battery life. Adjustable font sizes. Lack of glare in sunlight. Instant reviews of books. Etc, etc.

Now, to be seen as unbiased (although clearly I am not) and to be honest, I have to admit there are some cons to the greatest invention ever. Ahem.

Durability. I am on my 3rd kindle. My first, a Christmas gift, broke a few days after receiving. The screen suddenly went wonky, lines going through it, etc. Fiance, who had purchased it for me, called up Amazon and new one (free) was on it's way to me that day. At the time, Kindle was extremely new and I chalked it up to a glitch in the technology as many people had problems, but fiance confessed months later that he had sat on it and possibly caused the damage. My 2nd, the replacement, met a similar fate when fiance stepped on it and again destroyed the screen. Which was, although a tragedy, also a blessing because I got the newer, sleeker version this time which has yet to be crushed.

In addition to a somewhat delicate screen (although, not so delicate as my smartphone which has chunks of glass missing) I have a habit which makes my fiance cringe. I like to read my kindle in the bathtub. Now, dropping a paper back in the water is certainly not ideal, with a kindle, er.....it might be a bigger problem. But I am supremely careful. Usually.

Next con: New releases. Are not always on the kindle. For example, I was tearing through the Pretty Little Liars series, when I discovered that the next book wasn't available on Kindle. In my desperation, I was forced to buy it in hardcover, which meant I had the entire series but one book on my Kindle. Annoying.

Those are my biggest gripes about my Kindle, and while there may be a few more little ones, overall I would highly recommend everyone get an e-reader. Stat.

Do Less

2011-07-12T14:52:00.003-04:00

To me, this is how writing should be. You can't try to be a writer.

Don't try to write. Just write. "Just do it, feel it!"

LOST CREATIVITY: REWARD FOR INFO LEADING TO RECAPTURE!

2011-03-14T10:36:00.003-04:00

MISSING CREATIVITY!

LAST SEEN 02/04/2001

As Evidenced in the short story "Herbert Moopy and The Tragic Space Incident"

Answers to ridiculous pet names and unforseen plot twists

Dearly missed, please return alive and willing to cooperate

HUGE REWARD!

(a mention in the acknowledgment of someday published book)

In tragic news, it has been brought to light that aspiring novelist Danielle has, in fact, lost her creativity, or a rather large portion of it. It was last seen several years ago holding a Mary Poppins-esque carpet bag on the side of a major interstate with a cardboard sign that read "Will Be Original for Food and Shelter". It is unknown if it was ever picked up by a passer-by, as Danielle did not notice it's loss until quite recently (perhaps her indifference led to it's abandoment).

It was upon the discovery of a paper written in 9th grade, the aforementioned short story "Herbert Moopy", that the missing creativity was finally noticed. A story so creative and outlandish yet endearing and charming it made all subsequent writings, previously thought to be of some value, appear as they are: stale and over-thought. Although devastated by the loss, Danielle admits she didn't value and treasure her creativity the way she should have. Now sucked into the practical "real world" of being an adult, Danielle finds herself unable to think freely and without the restraints of her all-too logical mind. Any help or information leading to the recapture of said missing creativity and the restoration of Danielle's child-like thinking would be greatly appreciated and rewarded.

Puppies Preventing Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy

2011-01-19T10:57:00.001-05:00

Is the name of my new (read: nonexistant yet) charity. I think it has a nice ring to it, no? PPUTP, for short.

After many long hours spent watching 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, I realized that there is a very simple solution to the epidemic of teen pregnancy in this country. And that solution is puppies.

*Please note, while I'm somewhat joking, I'm also kind of serious...**

Let's think about this. Why do teenage girls get pregnant?

1. They want someone to love them unconditionally.

2. They want something cute to name, play with, and dress up.

3. They think being responsible for another living being will be easy and fun.

4. They want to keep their boyfriend around.

5. They can't remember to take their birth control properly.

6. They want something that belongs only to them and which no one can take away (well, except for social services)

7. They want to prove that they are mature and independent

Now, can you see how having a puppy would solve many of these issues?

1. There is nothing better than coming home at the end of a long day of high school and part time work at the Quik Stop to a bouncing, tail-yagging puppy that is ecstatic to see you. Sure as hell beats a screaming, poopy baby.

2. Puppies, while squirmy, are still able to be squeezed into baby clothes. Plus it's perfectly acceptable to give your dog a ridiculous, celebrity-inspired name that no child should ever be saddled with (Mango, Rocket, Denim, Kortny, etc.)

3. Ever stayed up all night with a dog who is throwing up two bags of Valentine's candy? Yeah, I haven't either, but my mom did once.

4. I'm not sure a puppy could get a guy to stay in a failing high-school relationship, but it could offer comfort when he inevitably cheats/gets arrested/gets a girl without a puppy pregnant.

5. This is the best one yet. So a lot of teenage girls can't remember to take their pill, right? If they had a puppy, they could just keep it with the puppy's food and take it when they fed the puppy!! Brilliant, I know. Unless they forget to feed the puppy...

6. Well, I suppose animal control could take a puppy, but I hear they are much nicer than the people who take kids. Plus it won't screw a puppy up too bad to be put in a new home wondering what happened to its original mommy or be raised by grandma

7. Nothing like screaming at a cowering puppy after it has had a horrible accident on the carpet and begging your own parents to help you clean it up because it's making you gag to make you realize you are completely unprepared for true parenthood.

Shows you shouldn't watch with your guy

2011-01-16T21:26:00.002-05:00

1. Bridezillas/Say Yes to the Dress/My Fair Wedding/4 Weddings, etc.

- Especially if your angling for the ring. He doesn't need this preview of what his life and your sanity might deteriorate into once he's popped the question.

2. Snapped.

- A particular favorite of mine. Turns out making comments like: "Don't these women learn? The hit-man always talks. And a new insurance policy? Dead give-away. **Snorts** Idiots," aren't exactly beneficial to your relationship.

3. 16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom/I didn't know I was pregnant

- Basically any show that has to do with unplanned pregnancies are major no-nos.

4. Bad Girls Club

- Watching trashy drunk girls bitch slap each other might be amusing for you, but...well, actually, he might like that. But the sloppy hook-up sessions and the constant high-pitched screaming? Better save this one for when he's at work.

5. E! News/Entertainment Tonight/Extra/TMZ

- Yes, you need to know which A-list celeb is knocked up by her boyfriend of 2 months, but he probably doesn't even know who she is, much less care what ridiculous inanimate object she's going to name her bundle of joy after.

In addition, if you value your sanity and your relationship, don't try and watch his favorite shows. Yes, he might like you playing the cool girlfriend who hands him the remote, but just one episode of MythBusters or Futurama might be enough to make you question how you can be with a guy who finds this stuff interesting and entertaining.

Starting a new chapter, in more ways than 1

2011-01-12T18:44:00.004-05:00

In typical slacker form, it's been almost a month since I posted. Buuutttt, I have an extremely valid excuse in the form of this lovely diamond ring:

In addition to getting engaged (sorry it's kind of a crappy picture), I finally started my new job (going extremely well, thanks) celebrated the holidays, and spent time with friends I hadn't seen in waaayyy too long. Needless to say, all of this craziness left me with about, oh, -10 seconds to write. And to be brutally honest, writing, or at least working on my MS, is not at the top of my priorities at the moment. Sad face.

But.

As a delayed New Year's Resolution, I have resolved to stop buying women's magazines. And to write my blog not just about writing (which hasn't been working too well anyway) and to branch out to write about things I think women might truly care about, find interesting or humorous, etc.

Every month I would stand in line in the grocery store, seduced by glossy magazine covers graced by my favorite celebrities. And every month I was disgusted and bitter that I had spent $4.29 to read "WHAT IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SECRETLY GAY!?" or "WHY TAKEN GUYS SEEM SEXIER" (real titles, btw). I cannot even begin to tell you the ridiculous questions I peppered my boyfriend...ooh, fiance!..... with after reading these articles:

Me: Honey, is it possible you're gay?

Him: WHAT!? NO!!

Me: Are you sure? Because this woman in this article was engaged to this guy for YEARS and never knew he was gay!

Him: **rolls his eyes and walks away*

Me: Would you tell me if you cheated on me?

Him: (suspecting a trick question) I would never cheat on you.

Me: Yeah...but if you did. Would you tell me?

Him: What? Yeah, I guess I would tell you. I mean, wait, no! I wouldn't cheat on you! Why are we having this conversation!?

Me: Well, I just read this article....

Him: **rolls eyes and walks away**

I have finally come to the realization that no matter how cute the covers or enticing the titles, these magazines are actually kind of detrimental to women. Their advice is often contradictory and pandering. Telling women that a relationship can come from a hook-up is not empowering. Talking about nothing but sex and clothes and make-up is not empowering. Scaring them with articles about their impending fertility is not helpful. Yes, there are on occasion genuinely interesting and educational articles, which is what I read these magazines for, but they are so few and far between that it's just not worth it.

So, here's hoping that I can make my blog something worth reading.

Leaving your characters hanging

2010-12-15T13:01:00.002-05:00

I always feel bad when I stop writing. I have this image in my head of my characters waiting around wherever I've left them, waiting for me to come back and give them more to do.

Right now my MC is standing in the woods. She has her arms crossed, looking up at the trees with a bored expression on her face. She's tapping her foot. She's giving deep, heartfelt sighs. She is, after all, a rebellious teenager who does not particularly want to be where she is.

A few feet away, her five year old cousin is crouching down and playing in the dirt. She's writing her name with a stick. She's kind of glad to be stuck in the woods, because it means she isn't at home being made to do chores.

My MC's future love interest is up the path through the woods, waiting to be introduced to the MC. They haven't met yet. He really wants me to hurry up, but I'm not sure how exactly it's going to work. He doesn't care. But so far, all I know of him is his name, so he's going to have to wait.

My MC's grandmother is waiting for MC and little cousin to get home from school so she can make them do chores. She gets antsy without people to boss around, and her husband and son are out working in the fields.

And I feel sorry for all of them, because I'm stuck. And therefore, so are they. Let's hope I figure it out before they freeze or are eaten by wolves because they are standing in the woods at night.

Pacing a teenage romance

2010-12-11T12:17:00.002-05:00

I recently finished reading a highly anticipated YA novel, and while I enjoyed it, I had a problem with the pacing of the romantic relationship. It took fooorrrreevvveeerrr. Yeah, just like that. And on top of that, their interactions were extraordinarily brief and somewhat shallow, in my opinion. (Well, they were teenagers, so I suppose that is realistic)

On the other hand, I've read YA books where the romantic relationship moves at light speed. Ten pages in and they're in love and ready to run away together.

In my opinion, real teenage relationships fall somewhere in between. Yes, teenagers have intense feelings and tend to rush into things, but they are also for the most part incredibly insecure and afraid of said intense feelings not being reciprocated, so they tend to make absolutely sure of the other person's interest before admitting their own feelings.

The following steps apply to romantic relationships in modern day America, and may have to be adjusted for dystopian/sci-fi/fantasy genres.

1. The crush. The initial awareness of the other person's existence. Usually one-sided. Noticing of desirable physical or personality traits.

2. The "accidental" meeting. In high school, I memorized my crush's schedule so that I could casually be standing in a spot I knew he would pass on his way to his next class. Or made friends with guys on his sports team as an excuse to go to his game. Or happen to show up at the same after school spot where he hung out. If all goes according to plan, at this step the crush will become two-sided.

3. The first hang-out sess. Usually in a group setting, although some one-on-one time can be created. At this time, phone calls and texting are initiated.

4. 3rd party intervention. Friends on either side are made aware of crush and possible long-term interest and seek out confirmation of reciprocated feelings from other party, either directly or indirectly. This is the most important step, as the rest of the relationship hinges on whether or not both parties receive confirmation of like feelings.

5. The date. This can include simply sitting together at lunch if actual first date is not possible, or can include a one-on-one trip to the movies/mall/ etc.

6. Making it official. Facebook, that is. After this, public displays of affection and possessiveness are acceptable. Hating of jealous exes is appropriate, complete isolation from friends often ensues as the relationship gains in intensity and importance.

7. Complete and utter devotion

Obsessions in your writing

2010-12-10T09:55:00.003-05:00

I think that all writers have certain obsessions that without fail appear in their writing. I know that mine come from things that have happened to me in my life and that I'm still (and will probably always) be dealing with or thinking about. My obsessions? Here is the list:

1. Death. Especially at a young age. If you missed the reason behind that, you can read my Thanksgiving blog post.

2. Forgiveness.

3. Betrayal.

4. Honesty.

5. Grandparents.

6. Missouri.

7. Florida.

8. Tattoos

9. Teenage romances that aren't perfect and don't end in happily ever after but teach you a lot about yourself.

10. God/religion/the afterlife

11. Puppies

So, what are your obsessions?

Is this glass half full?

2010-12-01T13:02:00.003-05:00

Hope everyone had great Thanksgiving. Mine was lovely, with the exception of the bruises. You know, from trying to wrestle my MS Hellbound into submission. We fought, bitterly, for many days, until the merest thought of the damn thing made me so nauseous I almost turned down seconds of apple pie. Almost. Yeah, it got bad.

Therefore I have come to the massively gut-wrenching decision of shelving it for the time being. I desperately wanted to finish it before taking a break from it - I have been working on it steadily for almost a year. And itisthisclose to being done (well, the first draft, anyway). But I am so sick of looking at it that I can't bring myself to open it.

On the bright side, I have had a lightning strike of inspiration for my previous WIP, crappily titled Banished, which I shelved to work on Hellbound. The rough draft of Banished was completed and I was religiously editing when I realized that the plot was not working. I've come up with an idea to fix it, however....

It requires almost a complete re-write.

Sooo....I'd better get to work.

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving Post

2010-11-25T11:58:00.003-05:00

I don't usually talk about this, because it's something that is very difficult for me, even this far past it.

7 years ago today my best friend died. We were 16. It's been a while since the anniversary fell on Thanksgiving. I think about her every day, without fail. A lot of times I think about how unfair her death was, how it wasn't supposed to be this way. I think about all the plans we had and all the things we talked about doing that will never happen now. I think about little things, inside jokes we had and times when we just laughed and laughed about pretty much nothing at all, because when you're 16 and invincible you think you have all the time in the world.

But today, I'm thinking about how lucky I was just to have her in my life at all. As much as I wish we could've become crazy old ladies together and done all the things we talked about, what's important is that I loved her when she was alive, and now I appreciate every second I had with her. She was an amazing friend, the loyal, funny, irreplaceable kind that don't come around very often. I hope that wherever she is she knows I'm thinking about her and that I will never forget her, and that her death changed me in ways I never could've imagined.

A Plea to YA authors

2010-11-19T17:17:00.003-05:00

Dear YA authors,

Please stop making your heroes decades, centuries, and in my latest read, a couple MILLENNIA older than the heroine. I'm supposed to believe that a guy who has been around for thousands of years fell in love with a normal 16 year old? That over those thousands of years he never met anyone more extraordinary than this plain person? I don't care that he looks like he's 16, he's not, nor should he be acting like he is. It's honestly a little creepy.

Thank you for your time and attention in regards to this matter, and I appreciate your discretion in the future.

Sincerely,

Smoothie Girl

REVIEW: Siren by Tricia Rayburn

2010-11-12T12:09:00.002-05:00

Seventeen-year-old Vanessa Sands is afraid of everything--the dark, heights, the ocean--but her fearless older sister, Justine, has always been there to coach her through every challenge. That is until Justine goes cliff diving one night near the family's vacation house in Winter Harbor, Maine, and her lifeless body washes up on shore the next day.

Vanessa's parents want to work through the tragedy by returning to their everyday lives back in Boston, but Vanessa can't help feeling that her sister's death was more than an accident. After discovering that Justine never applied to colleges, and that she was secretly in a relationship with longtime family friend Caleb Carmichael, Vanessa returns to Winter Harbor to seek some answers.

But when Vanessa learns that Caleb has been missing since Justine's death, she and Caleb's older brother, Simon, join forces to try to find him, and in the process, their childhood friendship blossoms into something more.
Soon it's not just Vanessa who is afraid. All of Winter Harbor is abuzz with anxiety when another body washes ashore, and panic sets in when the small town becomes home to a string of fatal, water-related accidents . . . in which all the victims are found grinning from ear to ear.

As Vanessa and Simon probe further into the connections between Justine's death and the sudden rash of creepy drownings, Vanessa uncovers a secret that threatens her new romance, and that will change her life forever.

I'm not a huge paranormal YA reader, especially when it involves mythological creatures. But something about this book caught my eye (the creepy yet gorgeous cover possibly?). I was intrigued, and after reading the glowing reviews I had to read it. I scoffed when the reviews insisted that this book had to be read in a day...but they were right. I bought this book last night and finished it this morning.

And while I've decided that I will never own a summer house in Maine -- bad things always happen at summer houses in Maine--the rest of the story was completely original and interesting. I didn't think I would like the MC and narrator Vanessa, a girl afraid of everything? No way. But she turned out to be immensely likable and sympathetic. Although I thought she avoided asking obvious questions, she turned out to be strong and brave. I loved Simon and Caleb. Especially Simon. He was ah-dorable.

The author drops enough hints throughout the book that you suspect what's going to happen, and yet it doesn't feel entirely predictable. I also loved the writing style, simple and straightforward but with just enough detail to get mental pictures of every scene.

I felt disappointed with the vague ending and the loose strings not being tied up into a pretty bow....but to my immense relief it is going to be trilogy. Phew!

Deciphering the Teenage Mind

2010-11-05T10:46:00.002-04:00

Okay, the title of this blog is misleading. There is no deciphering the teenage mind. The things teenagers do don't make any sense. However, if you are writing a YA novel and sometimes wonder how a teen would react to something or what they would say, here are a few ways to get a glimpse into the teenage brain.

Watch 16 and Pregnant/ Teen Mom religiously.

These shows are the epitome of teenage naivete and immaturity. How a 16 year old girl could get pregnant (for the most part on purpose) and think that her equally irresponsible boyfriend will a) want to stay with her for the baby b) suddenly become responsible c) be an excellent, supportive father is the best example I can think of to show the utter lack of common sense teenage girls display. And yet somehow at the end of the show, every girl says "Oh, yeah, I should've waited to have a baby. It's hard."

Read Seventeen magazine. This is what teen girls actually care about: boys, hot boys, flirting with boys, having sex with boys...oh and makeup, clothes and shoes.

Disney Channel is not an accurate representation of normal teens. Normal teens are not secret pop stars, don't have magic powers, and no school sinks that much money on costumes and sets for high school plays . Instead, look at what happens to Disney stars in their private lives. Sexting, naked pictures, eating disorders and cutting, nasty break-ups, now that is realistic.

Watch MTV's True Life and/or Made. Okay, watch anything on MTV. No, watch everything on MTV. The absolute best source for info on teens.

Face wall. Bang head. Repeat.

2010-10-17T19:54:00.005-04:00

Question.

What do you do when you feel completely overwhelmed by your MS? (I'll tell you what I do...give up for the moment and write a blog about it) When it needs so much work that you don't even know where to start?

I am determined to finish Hellbound, especially as soon I will not be working and would love to be able to query by the time I start school in January, because I sure won't have a ton of time to get it in shape then. But....it's a mess. I wrote it out of order and there are random scenes everywhere. I've never written a romance and I'm having trouble with the pacing and development of that relationship.

Any ideas? Brilliant words of wisdom? A hug? I'll take whatever ya got.

The Writer's Guilt Game

2010-10-14T18:14:00.004-04:00

You know how it goes. Every day you have a conversation with yourself that goes something like this:

Friday

"I should really be writing. But, hmm, the kitchen is a mess. And the dog needs a bath. I haven't made the bed since Tuesday....*phone rings*....Now I've agreed to go out to dinner with my bestie. So....I'll write tomorrow. Good plan."

Saturday

"Well...it is my only day off and the male-creature I love also has his first day off in 16 days. We should probably do something coupley like visit a farmer's market or see a movie. So....I'll write tomorrow. Excellent."

Sunday

"Work. All. Day. Am. Exhausted. Can't. Touch. Computer."

Monday

"I haven't written in a week! I am a horrible, pathetic loser type person who will never finish a novel let alone be published!!!!"

It's a sad reality that as much as we would like to, we can't spend all day, every day typing away on our WIPs (okay, I wouldn't really like to do that, but I would like to at least have the option) and as a result we feel guilty when we don't write because of any number of things.

BUT.

I think it is important to remember one thing. WRITING WILL ALWAYS BE THERE.

Your MS isn't going to storm off in a huff because you've been neglecting it and never return. Your writing is like a precious puppy dog. Whether you've been gone five minutes or five days, it's going to be just as happy to see you when you get home *minus the tail wagging and barking*.

So. Go easy on yourself. Live your life, and never feel guilty for choosing to spend time with the people you love instead of writing. Writing will always be there, but those people might not. (But if you can eliminate work/school/cleaning-DO IT).

Some Sad (and yet...happy) News!

2010-10-13T16:29:00.003-04:00

I am sad, and at the same time excited, to announce that as of October 25....

I WILL NO LONGER BE A SMOOTHIE GIRL!

Ahem. At least, officially. I have given my two weeks notice and will be retiring from the smoothie girl profession (if all goes according to plan, permanently.) However, I will always be a devoted smoothie groupie and lover of all things delicious blended fruit drink. I will forever be a smoothie girl at heart and therefore, the title of this blog will not be changing!

And, in the happy/exciting news department....

I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

Yes, you read the correctly. Now, you may be thinking "But Smoothie Girl, you already hold a bachelor's degree in "How to Be Nice to People" (a.k.a. Hospitality Management)". And you might also be asking, "Smoothie girl, in such a precarious economic situation, are you saying that a degree in being nice to people is not conducive to a successful, fulfilling, and wealth making career?"

No. No, it is not. I'm getting a second bachelor's degree in accounting (don't judge!) because after 7 years of dealing with people day, after day, after day, I'm thinking a job with a cozy desk and limited amount of human interaction and where I can wear cute dress-up clothes is just what I need. (Oh, and I kind of like accounting. But don't let that get around. I've got a reputation to uphold.)

Small Packages Blogfest!!

2010-10-12T14:25:00.002-04:00

Today is the Small Packages Blogfest, for you bloggers out there like me who have less than 150 followers. Awesome idea courtesy of Jessica at Witless Exposition. If you want to sign up or just check out the other blogs, click here!

The subject of today's blogfest is:

What's your favorite Halloween episode from a TV show?

OR
If your one of those young people that doesn't remember when TV was fun, what's your favorite scary TV show or movie?

Now, I believe I am old enough to remember when ALL the t.v. shows had holiday themed episodes. For some reason, the ones that stick out most in my mind were the ones from Roseanne. My mom loved that show, and it reminded me of my own home life (middle class, suburban, although my mom was much nicer than Roseanne). They always had awesome customs and a haunted house that was similar to one my neighbors put on. Plus they were hilarious, Roseanne and Dan always played the best tricks on everyone. It was like April Fool's meets Halloween.

As for scary t.v. shows, I believe a majority of my childhood was spent cowering in the corner while my brother giggled maniacally as we watched "Are you afraid of the dark?"

The answer to that question being a huge, resounding YES! I slept with a nightlight until I was ten....Okay, twelve. FINE, FOURTEEN!! Sue me, okay? I got over it. For the most part.

The episodes I remember most clearly (well, there are alot of them, actually) include the ones where 3 girls get lost in the woods at summer camp and meet 3 old women who have been lost for years. Another where a guy who stole treasure from a ship can't fall go to sleep or zombies will come after him. And one about a little girl stuck in a mirror who keeps writing help on the walls backward.

Wannabe Writers #37

2010-10-10T20:51:00.002-04:00

Are you a wannabe writer? Sign up here.

Where I am in the writing process: Unpublished. And at the moment, distinctly unmotivated. I started a new MS last weekend (big mistake!). I now have 5 WIPs. FIVE!!! 2 finished, which have been shelved. 1 that is approx. 75% complete and is my main focus (Hellbound) and which I hope to edit and query. And 2 that are in baby stages and I hope to complete someday.

My current problem(s): Motivation. I've hit a wall with Hellbound and haven't looked at it in at least a week. It's soooo close to being done and I can't even look at it at the moment. I'm not sure what else it needs and I'm not looking forward to figuring it out.

My question this week: Do you work on multiple projects? Or do you write one book at a time?

Tracking Your Stats. Yea or Nay?

2010-10-06T21:17:00.005-04:00

So, as I've navigated my way around the lovely blogger universe, I've noticed a theme on other writer's blogs.

People keep track of how far along they are in their WIPs and how many words a day they write and how much time they spend writing/editing/staring blankly at the screen....etc. Huh. I also discovered you can keep track of how many people view your profile, read each blog post, etc. Hmm.

I don't do any of these things. I have no idea how long a WIP is going to be, so how can I know I am 80% done or whatever? When I write, I write til I don't feel like writing anymore or I've finished a scene or I have something else to do. I don't set writing goals. I have a valid fear that setting goals and then not meeting them will be detrimental to my self-esteem.

I think if I kept track of how many (or, um, few) people look at my blog I would turn into a dejected basket-case, and again, take a blow to my confidence.

But I'm curious, does keeping track of how much you write and/or how many people visit your blog and/or setting goals (daily, weekly, monthly?) work for you? If so, why?

New plan for getting published. It could work for you too!

2010-10-01T10:00:00.003-04:00

I have formed a new plan to get published. And, if I may say, it is B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T.

Am I going to....

Finish my MS?

Polish it til it shines?

Edit, Edit, Edit?

Have others read it?

Edit some more?

Query like my life depends on it?

Gain an agent who will sell my book?

Nope. The answer would be none of the above.

I'M GOING TO BECOME FAMOUS!!!!

I'm going to be on a cheesy reality show, get on the covers of tabloids, publicly embarrass myself (possibly get arrested...that's always helpful), maybe throw in some rehab, some public service, a dash of contrite apologies...and BAM! Editors will be fighting over me and my unwritten book. SUCCESS!

Please feel free to borrow my plan, adjust to your liking, and pursue.

*Note: I believe there are a select few celebrities who wrote their own books (or at least had input in them) and deserved to have them published. (But I'm not going to be one of those)

Banned Books Week

2010-09-30T14:24:00.002-04:00

In honor of Banned Books Week, Tahereh at Grab a Pen and The Rejectionist have asked all us lovely bloggers to review one of our favorite banned books. You can find yours on the ALA list

here.

First, can we just address the ridiculousness of the idea of banning books?? If you don't want to read a book, don't read it. Simple. What difference does it make to you if others read it? It doesn't. Point made.

That said, I had no idea how many amazing and frankly, harmless, books were on these banned lists. How many I read in school or on my own and which certainly influenced me and inspired me to become a writer myself. My favorite example of a harmless, brilliant book:

Angus:
My mixed-breed cat, half domestic tabby, half Scottish wildcat. The size of a small Labrador, only mad.

Thongs:
Stupid underwear. What's the point of them, anyway? They just go up your bum, as far as I can tell.

Full-Frontal Snogging:
Kissing with all the trimmings, lip to lip, open mouth, tongues ... everything.

Her dad's got the mentality of a Teletubby (only not so developed). Her cat, Angus, is trying to eat the poodle next door. And her best friend thinks she looks like an alien -- just because she accidentally shaved off her eyebrows. Ergghhhlack. Still, add a little boy-stalking, teacher-baiting, and full-frontal snogging with a Sex God, and Georgia's year just might turn out to be the most fabbitty fab fab ever

This book is ha-ha-hilarious. The diary of a completely, 100% average teenage girl, with 100% average teenage problems. Now, let's examine what got this book banned by some old white guys who are clearly uncomfortable with the term "snogging" and would prefer that "thongs" still referred to flip-flops. Here is my take on how the conversation that got this book on the list went:

Thongs. Teenage girls wearing less than full-bottom covering underwear!? SCANDALOUS!!

Snogging. (Possibly the use of a great deal of British slang contributed to the banning of this book.) IF WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT WE SHOULDN'T READ IT!

Angus. Clearly, Angus the "Cat" is code for a tattooed, cracked-out, motorcycle driving, daughter-kidnapping corruptive boy.

The dad is referred to as a tele-tubby. UNDERMINING MALE AUTHORITY!

"Angus" is trying to eat a poodle. WE LOVE POODLES! HOW DARE YOU???

And, the final nail in the coffin.

The word SEX appears in the blurb! SEX!?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO......

Thus, banned. I believe this is the only way this could've happened....

Tagged. Against my will.

2010-09-29T18:46:00.005-04:00

Okay, so I've read like, 1239873 blogs that say I've been "tagged." I believe it's similar to what they do to wild animals for research purposes, some sort of electronic thing that marks me so as to keep tabs on my whereabouts. Or maybe this is one of those things that if I don't do what they tell me I'll have a lifetime of bad luck and my hair will fall out and no one will like me all because I didn't do it. I'm not clear on the details (it could be harmless fun...but I'm not convinced) and I am quite vulnerable, sooo....call me superstitious, but I'm doing it.

1. If you could have a superpower, what would you have? Why?

I would like to be able to write for hours and hours and not get distracted or stuck or bored. Oh...is that not a super power? Then I suppose I'd like to be invisible. Not all the time, I mean. Just when I wanted to be.

2. Who is your style icon?

Lauren Conrad. A-dorable.

3. What is your favorite quote?

Is it possible for an author not to love a million quotes? Here are two favorites from my FB profile. I apologize for the depressing (but oh-so-true) nature of the second:

"Life is like a poker game. Some players fold while holding a winning hand, some win holding nothing but a pair of deuces. It isn't the hand you're dealt in life-it's the hands that hold the cards."

"When someone you love dies it's as if they leave you with half shares of your life together. The person you were in their eyes dies with them."

4. What is the best compliment you've ever received?

My mom told me today she thinks I am a great writer.

And my boyfriend tells me every day that I'm beautiful :)

5. What playlist/cd is on your ipod/cd player right now?

I'm replaying a few songs constantly. Love like woe by The Ready Set, Strip Me by Natasha Bedingfield, and Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

6. Are you a night owl or a morning person?

My job makes me a morning bird (I think morning "person" doesn't have the same cache as "night owl"). But by nature, I am a night owl.

7. Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Dogs. I love my dog. She is my spoiled, pampered baby. But for some reason, I also bought a cat. When I realized she was demon-possessed it was too late to take her back. But I find little ways to get even with her for torturing me...

8. What is the meaning behind your blog name?

I am a smoothie girl by trade, and I have many profound and fascinating epiphanies that need sharing.

Create an authentic teen in 9 easy steps!

2010-09-27T16:39:00.001-04:00

As someone who works with teenage girls, waits on teenage girls, and coincidentally, is not long past being a teenage girl, it has come to my attention the depiction of teens in YA and books/movies in general are pathetically inaccurate. So. If you want your writing to have a truly authentic teen, use the following rules:

1. Facebook is GOD. If it is on Facebook, it is irrefutable fact and must be treated as such. Likewise anything said in facebook messenger can and will be used against you in future rumor spreading. There are also numerous rules and codes on Facebook. For example, if you list a best friend as your “sibling”, you are declaring to the world that you are BFFE. There is also listing yourself as “married” to your best friend, and your “wifey” bff has an even higher rank than your “sibling” bff.
Note: If you wish to show commitment between your female MC and her significant other, please ensure that you include they have made it “Facebook official”. This concretes the relationship and ensures that it will never, ever, end. I would compare it to Bella marrying Edward, only much, much more serious.

2. Begin all sentences with “Dude”, “Bro”, “Oh my god!” or “Seriously”
“Dude, did you see the VMA's last night?”
“Bro, was Kanye a dick again?”
“Oh my god, Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat.”
“Seriously, she's like, such a snazzhole.”
*Note: I'm not sure what a snazzhole is, but I just heard a 16 year old girl use it. I'd assume it's similar to calling someone an asshole.

3. Insert “like” after every two to three words. This is a given, and I'm not sure why it isn't used in dialogue in YA novels. We all know teens talk don't like this:
“I saw Maci at the mall with Josh and oh my god, she looked huge!”

They talk like this:

“I like, saw Maci, like, at the mall, with like, Josh, and like, oh my god, she like, looked huge!”

4. Use long, rambling, difficult to follow sentences. “Dude, you're the one acting weird. That's why he put a sad face. Because you're the one acting different. You know if you're acting that with Kyle and Sara's acting that way with him what do you think he's going to do? Seriously, it's not his fault that you're being a snazzhole right now and totally freaking out on him because of what he did that like, wasn't even his fault, like seriously how was he supposed to know that you knew that Sara told him she was into him?”

5.For some reason, in YA books and teen movies, there is that one, reliable, always-there, labrador-loyal best friend. DURR!! No!! That is completely unrealistic. Your teen character needs a new best friend every week. And a huge end-of-the-world, never-speaking-to-you-again blowup fight to end the friendship. *Note: Said ex-best-friend can be reinstated without warning at any time. Replacement best friend now becomes frenemie number 1. This cycle can be repeated throughout your book and is important because it shows what true friendship is (competition and jealousy).

6.When showing your character writing an e-mail, text message, status update, etc. please add extra letters to all words, for example: boyssss and be sure to include <3333s and :) and difficult for adults to understand acroynoms: ilysm, rofl, lmao, ily, wtf, etc.

7.If you are writing a contemporary YA romance, sexting is a must. It's completely romantic and well-thought-out on the part of the teens.

8.No more Miss Nice Girl. High school girls. Are. Bitches! I don't care how nice or innocent or sheltered you think your MC is. She isn't. By definition, she must be a bitch because she is a teenage girl. She must call other girls fat, regardless of how skinny they are. She must flirt with other girl's boyfriends. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

9.If you think you might be going to far (drugs, sex, alcohol, tragedy) you aren't. If you're writing about kids in high school, it is impossible to go to far. If anything, real teens are far more screwed up and out of control than you could ever concieve.

My two cents for The Great Blogging Experiment

2010-09-24T08:44:00.002-04:00

Today is the day, in case you haven't heard (is that possible?) of Elana Johnson, Jen Daiker and Alex Cavanaugh Great Blogging Experiment! To read the other blogs check out Elana's blog here. The topic is writing compelling characters. And now for my two cents:

The thing that makes characters compelling for me are when they do things that are totally unexpected. Characters who always keep me guessing, even when I think I know how they will react (and how I would react) and they do the complete opposite. This always makes me want to read more to figure out why they did what they did. Of course, there has to be sufficient motivation to justify what the character does, especially when it is dangerous/crazy/unexpected.

Example: Stephanie Plum by Janet Evanovich. 16 books into the series and she still surprises me somehow. Even though I know she is constantly getting herself into trouble, I'm never bored or able to predict what she will do next, but I'm always sure it will be entertaining and compelling.

Review: Banished by Kate Brian

2010-09-22T15:54:00.002-04:00

Let me preface this by saying, I love Kate Brian. I've loved the Private Series since it first came out. I love her other books as well. She is without a doubt one of my favorite and most admired authors.

Which makes what I'm about to say even harder.

I did not love this book. *cringes* I didn't even like this book.

I'm not including any spoilers because I love Kate and still recommend her books, so I apologize for the vagueness.

I put off buying it for a little bit as things have been so busy and I knew I'd want to read it in one sitting. Normally I would've bought it the same day it came out. So when I finally sat down to read it yesterday, the anticipation had grown enormous.

As it started, I waited to be grabbed, to be sucked in so completely I literally couldn't put it down, as I had with every other book in the series. Ummm....no such luck. I wasn't grabbed, and I really just wanted to know how it was going to end, although I already had a sneaking suspicion. So I did something I have never done with this author before...I skimmed. The entire book. Until I got about ten pages before the end. And when I got to the end, I screamed and threw the book down. I threw a book.

Oh, the shame!

But I couldn't help it. Kate Brian has kept me on edge with killer cliffhangers and shocking revelations. And Vanished ended with one that made me not even want to read the next book. I've read 12 books in this series (12!) and now she completely changes everything I've ever thought this series was about in one line on the last page. And more than anything it felt like a cheap ploy to have a plot for the next book and jump on the YA paranormal fad-train.

NOTHING in the previous 11 books makes this end plausible or realistic. There has always been a certain amount of suspending reality to make this series work, and I never minded before. There could never be so much murder, so many lunatics, kidnappings, secret half-sisters, ridiculously hot guys, etc. in real life. But Vanished crossed the line into completely ridiculous.

What. Would. My. Main. Character. Do.

2010-09-21T17:41:00.004-04:00

I need one of those obnoxious bracelets on my wrist with W.W.M.M.C.D. (is that too long for a bracelet? I have tiny wrists. Whatev, I'd just wrap it around twice...) embroidered on it. And then when I have my main character do something that I would do and not what she would do I could snap myself with it and delete said action.

I am not my character.

Everyone! Say it with me!

I am not my character.

Good. Now, continue writing and make sure that your character does what makes sense for them and their motivation/personality/situation and NOT what you would do if it was actually happening to you.

*Note: I am writing this under the assumption that everyone slips up and forgets that they are a separate entity from their character and writes as if it were happening to them and has the character react accordingly. Please...don't let this just be me...

I'm a writer, I don't watch t.v...

2010-09-20T21:13:00.006-04:00

Ha, not! I hate it when people do that. "Oh, I don't watch t.v. I just read." I read more than anyone I know but come on people, who doesn't love t.v.? So when I saw Alex J. Cavanaugh’s Top 10 TV Shows Blogfest I couldn't resist! Here are mine,without further ado (in no particular order):

The Office

Snapped.

Teen Mom/16 and Pregnant

Say Yes to the Dress

Top Gear

The Buried Life

Jeopardy

Glee

Modern Family

Man Vs. Wild

Wannabe Writer #1

2010-09-19T14:13:00.003-04:00

Since I have so much trouble coming up with topics for blogs, thought this would at least take care of one a week and also help me find me blogs to follow and to follow me:

Wannabe Writers is an internet writing group. Everyone is welcome to join. It's a place to meet other writers, ask questions, and get feedback. Click here to find out more about how it works.

Where I am in the writing process:Unpublished. Working on my first draft of my MS Hellbound, after having spent a year working on Banished and finally deciding to shelve it. I have been working Hellbound steadily since May, and about 3/4 finished with the rough first draft. After that, I'm anticipating another few months of editing and revising before I can actually query it.

My current problem(s): Life. As seen in previous posts, things are a little crazy right now (crazier than is normal, I should say). Things have derailed me from writing and I need to put them aside for a while and get back on track writing.

My question this week: What are you thoughts on e-publishing? Everyone wants to get published through a major publishing house and see that final hard-copy in their hands and top the best-seller charts. But what if that's just not in the stars for you---would you ever go the e-publishing route? I mean e-readers are starting to pick up popularity...

My opinion - I love e-books. Love love love love. I would publish my book as an e-book. Of course, I have the hope that it will be published through a traditional published and also be on Kindle, but if that is not the case I wouldn't turn my nose up at being strictly an e-book. I've found so many great authors and great books and I love reading on my kindle, and I buy the majority of my books on my Kindle, so I think it is an amazing opportunity for authors, especially those who have been turned down by traditional publishers. I should also point out that e-books are later printed as well, so it's not set in stone that you will never hold a hard copy of your e-book.

Chapter Titles: Love em or Leave em?

2010-09-16T14:39:00.002-04:00

I'm a bit torn on this subject. For me, it's a love/hate relationship.

I love chapter titles that are cute/funny/witty/short. I like when a chapter title gives me a hint about what is going to happen in the chapter and makes me want to readitrightthissecond. I recently read a romance novel about a baseball player and the beginning of every chapter had a funny baseball related quote. Cute. The Pretty Little Liars series chapter titles were intriguing and sometimes funny, I liked them consistently throughout the books.

I hate chapter titles that are long/boring/unrelated/distracting. I hate when a chapter title refers to something that does happen in the chapter, but that doesn't make sense until after you've finished reading the chapter. I think it's distracting when you're looking for what the chapter title is talking about. Or the times when you are looking and never find it and realize that the title really just doesn't make sense. It's rare, but it's happened.

I wish I could write the cute/witty/hinting chapter titles. I might think of one or two, but usually somewhere in the middle I forget about them all together. Therefore, half of my MS is chapters like "Hell-O?" and half is plain old Chapter 10.

So, what do you think? Do you use them, start out with them, add them later? Or do plain old numbers?

Sometimes life just gets in the way

2010-09-15T09:46:00.002-04:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote a blog. The guilt is eating at me. But sometimes...life just gets in the way. The end of August was my mom's birthday, which meant I got to spend a lovely couple of days in my hometown. But then reality hit, and I had to find a place to live, pack, and move within two weeks. All with minimal help from my boyfriend who has been working 12-13 hour days 6 days a week. This past weekend was spent moving and trying to deal with everything that goes along with that plus working. Somehow I still managed to get a little writing done. Then yesterday, everything went wrong. Stressful day of work, stress of finishing the move, waiting for the cable guy, dealing with the electric company, and then my mom calls. My uncle passed away unexpectedly. Now I'm dealing with the emotions of that (there are way too many to get into) and trying to figure out how to get to Missouri for the funeral with no money.

Do you ever wish you could just sit and write all day and never have to deal with your real life? It's much easier to put your characters in stressful situations than to live them yourself!

What's your problem?

2010-08-23T12:22:00.003-04:00

So we are all well aware by now how important conflict is in a novel.

What if Katniss had never been sent to the Hunger Games? Would we really have wanted to read about her day to day life in District 13? What if Edward had been a totally normal dude, moody and to be honest a bit boring (hello, classical music)?

With my last WIP, I had to stop working on it because the conflict just wasn't working. There wasn't enough and it didn't make sense and it just didn't work. And with my current WIP, well, I'm wondering....

Is it possible to have too much conflict?

It's pronounced "Katie." Yeah, I'm gonna call you Caddy.

2010-08-17T14:59:00.002-04:00

Okay, I have to put this out there. I don't know if anyone else has this problem, or if I'm a loner freak. Maybe you can help me.

Do you ever read a book and absolutely hate the character's name?

It doesn't happen a lot, but sometimes I'll read a book where I cannot stand one of the character's name. As in, every time I read it I a) roll my eyes b) pretend to gag c) literally gag (extreme cases only). Example: The hero of a book I read recently was named "Taggert". Now, I knew this going in, but assumed that he would heretofore be referred to as "Tagg." Um, no. His acceptable nickname was rarely used.

When I find myself in this situation I attempt to change the character's name in my mind, either to the nickname or to something similar to the name. I try to read the name as what I want it to be instead of what it is. Am I the only one who does this?

And, second part of this:

Do you consider the popularity/ease of pronunciation/likability of the names you choose for your characters?

How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2010-08-07T21:34:00.003-04:00

None. The writers aren't actually screwing in the lightbulb, they are too immersed in the creative world to see to mundane details such as changing lightbulbs or cleaning or any such nonsense. They are, in fact, waiting for a lightbulb to appear cartoon-like over their head signifying a brilliant, just born idea.

So my question is this: are you as a writer actively seeking ideas for new projects? Do you walk around thinking "Could I write a book about this? What about this? Does anyone want to read about a poor college graduate eking out a living in a smoothie shop?"

Or:

Do your ideas come to you unbidden and unexpectedly? Does something random just pop into your head and you know that it would make a great book? If you finish one project, do you just wait for that next inspiration to strike?

For me it's happened both ways. My current work in progress was one of those lightning bolt type moments that came out of no where inspired by a video game commercial during the Super Bowl. What about you?

Battle Royale: The Reader vs. The Writer

2010-08-04T17:42:00.002-04:00

The past two days I've found myself waging an epic civil war within myself. The Reader vs. The Writer. The Reader wants to, well, read. And read. And read. The Reader stupidly bought the first book in a series and then could not be persuaded to put it down on Tuesday. (The book was The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan. AMAZING!!)

The Reader started reading the book at work on Tuesday. When The Reader got home, The Writer politely tapped The Reader on the shoulder and said "Hi. Um, look, I know that you are really enjoying the book. But you have your own book to write and now would be the perfect time to work on it." The Reader gifted The Writer with an angry glare and promptly ignored her. The Reader finished the book Tuesday evening and The Writer heaved a sigh of relief, believing that the next day she could get some work done.

Not. So. Fast.

The Reader bought the next book in the series Wednesday morning (ah, the joys of having a Kindle!). The Writer cried when Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday. But now that the second book is done, the Writer is fervently lighting candles and saying prayers that on Thursday she will finally do some writing.

So, what do you do when you get so sucked into a book that it's like ripping off your own toe-nails to put it down? Even when you know you have your own writing to work on? Do you let yourself be sucked in or deal with the pain of separation from delightful book and plop yourself down in front of your computer and write?

The worst thing about writing...

2010-07-21T14:50:00.003-04:00

Is. not. the. writing.

Oh, you saw that coming did you? Well, aren't you smart. No, the easiest thing about writing, in my opinion, is the writing. The hardest part is all. the. damn. THINKING. TOO MUCH THINKING!

I know how to write. And when I know what I want to write, it all flows out and onto the screen like a delicious refreshing mango smoothie pours into a cup. But when I'm not sure what's going to happen next, when I have to spend hours and hours thinking about my plot, it's like a thick, chunky milkshake with peanut butter and bananas that refuses to budge and you end up having to scrape it out with a spoon and it just plops into the cup and sits there staring at you like "seriously? milkshakes are supposed to be smooth too..."

(I'm on day 11 of working 14 in a row. Smoothies and milkshakes are my life.)

Same with my MS. The little cursor blinking angrily as if to say "That's the best ya got?" if I manage to spill some words onto the page. Sometimes cursor gets impatient when nothing comes out. "Umm, hello? I haven't got all day. I'm here to be in front of your words. WORDS, WHERE ARE THE WORDS??"

And then it's back to the thinking. Where am I going with this? What needs to happen now? you suck as a writer. Well, what could happen? HMM?? Think.

Think.

Think some more.

Still. Thinking.

Getting on The Bachelor

2010-07-12T21:51:00.002-04:00

I wrote an application for my best friend to get on The Bachelor:

Dear ABC,

I would like to be on the Bachelor/Bachelorette because I would like to make out with some really hot guys. I think that would be awesome. I'm also looking for an easy way to get famous. I love to travel to exotic places and stay in nice hotels on someone else's dime. I'm the next America's sweetheart. People are going to be obsessed with me. If I go on the Bachelor and don't win, I'll totally be the next Bachelorette. Sign me up!! HOTTIES!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!

Sincerely,

Meaghan M. Halley

The Next Bachelorette

P.S. - No fatties!! Or butter faces. Or slimy action movie villains. Thanks. Athletes, firefighters, cowboys greatly appreciated. No argyle. I will not negotiate on that. Cool?

P.P.S. - Hundred thou an episode. In advance. Cash. Plus you pay and televise my wedding. Vera Wang. Honeymoon. You get the picture.

P.P.P.S - I need a clothing allowance and a stylist. A sexy gay man. Hairdresser. Jessica Simpson's. Not Ali's. I can do my own makeup if I get a free pass to MAC.

P.P.P.P.S - My bestie Danielle will be the unofficial host. Screw Chris Harrison. B-O-R-I-N-G.

P.P.P.P.S. - NO JAKE OR VIENNA STEALING MY SPOTLIGHT!!!

Hate Words

2010-07-10T11:17:00.003-04:00

Hello friends, confession time! There are words that I hate. I hate reading them. I hate hearing them. I hate writing them. I tried explaining this to my boyfriend, and asked him which words he hates to which he replied "Democrat?" He didn't quite get that for me it has nothing to do with the meaning of the word, it's the way it sounds or the way it looks. ***Note: I am aware this makes me somewhat of a freak***

TOP TEN (in no particular order....except for the top 3. I hate those the most.)

1. Moist

2. Damp

3. Tender

4. Squishy

5. Touch

6. Belly

7. Thong

8. Jaw

9. Skull

10. Muscle

Ick, it was a struggle just to write those words. Hope you appreciated it. The yucky part being over, I will now proceed to cleanse my brain of them with some words that I adore. Love, love, love these words, particularly when someone says them. I used to make my boyfriend say "cool" repeatedly. And my mom had to say the first two over and over again until she got fed up with my weirdness and sent me to play in my room.

1. Pajamas

2. Frumpiness

3. Cool

4. Clarity

5. Fluffy

6. Antidisestablishmentarianism (btw, I spelled that right on the first try. Not bragging or anything...)

7. Dance

8. Kitten

9. Penny

10. Soothed

Sooooo....just wondering, be honest, am I crazy? Eccentric, would you say? Pure genius? (I SAID BE HONEST!) ****Last night I told my boyfriend that I thought if cats could sing they'd have beautiful voices. Especially our cat. She'd be the Susan Boyle or Charlotte Church of cats****

Who Got Liz Gardner by Elizabeth Allen

2010-07-05T17:41:00.003-04:00

When Liz, a married financial advisor, logs on to her high school website in an attempt to generate business, she lands in a chat room made up of her male classmates and lovers from 30 years before. There she witnesses a testosterone-laden discussion and a much unexpe ted question. “Does anyone know who got Liz Gardner?” The sheer irony that she would be a topic of this world wide circle jerk on her one and only visit catapults her into a graphic exploration of her life's journey-with all the erotic, tragic, and hilarious lessons and detours that let to the one “who got her.”

Her journey takes her from Florida to New York to California with a spicy layover in Denver. She grows through divorced parents, abortion, love triangles, infidelity, confused intentions, homeless junkies, aliens, vegetarians, stalkers, past life lesbians, ghosts and angels.

Oh, and men. Definitely men.

I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I began “Who Got Liz Gardner.” However, the book quickly sucked me in, and I found I couldn't put it down for too long. Told like a memoir, there is so much genuine, realistic detail that I had to wonder how much could truly be fiction. I rejoiced early on to read an accurate description of that oh-so-painful and awkward first time. It is clear from that scene and throughout the book, Elizabeth Allen isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Especially when it comes to Liz. With her blunt honesty and unapologetic attitude, Liz feels completely real, she could be someone sitting next to you in traffic or in front of you at Starbucks.

I admit I'm surprised that I even liked Liz, let alone that I loved her. Liz did things that I would never, ever do, and at points I found myself saying “Why? Why would you ever do that?” but the thing that kept me from writing her off as a ridiculous, silly woman was that I knew and understood the reasons behind her behavior. Elizabeth Allen gives such a finely drawn description of Liz's dysfunctional family and her relationships with her overly dramatic mother and shady father that it's not hard to see why Liz makes the mistakes she does, and in fact it makes her that much more of a sympathetic and likable character. This book isn't about Liz overcoming her screwed up childhood, emerging from it completely unscathed and goody-two shoes perfect, but like most people in the real world, sorting through her baggage and maturing past it.

This journey is the main plot of the book, Liz's experiences and how they ultimately led her to “the one”. The ironic thing about “Who Got Liz Gardner” is that the book isn't so much about who did, as about who didn't get Liz Gardner. Liz's early relationships take the main stage, while the answer to the question is a brief mention in the last pages. One main relationship reminded me of my own ex, that one person that you know isn't really right for you but you try to force it to work anyway. Throughout her relationships, long-term and well, not, Liz's growth is evident right up to the point when she realizes that she is ready for “the one” and can feel herself getting closer to meeting him. I love how self-aware Liz is, how able she is to understand her needs and to do whatever it takes to meet them. Liz's acting career is also an important component of the book, it is what takes her to the different locations and where she meets the men in her life. I was slightly disappointed that her acting career never seemed to really take off, but I appreciated how dedicated she was to it.

I think one of my only criticisms (if you can call it that) of this book is that it is not written in the traditional sense that is required of most books: character has goal, something is in the way, character overcomes obstacle, cue happy ending. I think perhaps some readers will have trouble with the plot being very loose and flowy, Liz going from one thing to another. Like anyone living their life in the moment, there isn't always a ton of motivation or reason.

There are many characters in the novel, some of whom appear quickly and leave just as fast. Most of Liz's friends are inserted for convenience and then not mentioned again, but I didn't mind because it is obvious that they are not integral parts of the story, so really, who cares? Other mainstays such as her mother and dog, make numerous appearances. Like Liz, I initially thought I wouldn't like her mother Radiance, but I found myself highly entertained by her antics and she is well-intentioned (toward Liz, at least). I liked that Liz's dog, Marlena, was one consistency in the book that never wavered. Devoted to my own dog, I completely related to Liz's love for her loyal pet. Her roommate Hippolyta (nicknamed Lyta, not Hippo, fyi) was also good for some laughs.

In addition to an engaging, fast-paced story, the writing itself is excellent (with the exception of a few typos and misspellings, which I forgive). There were numerous places I laughed out loud, emphasis on the loud (got some weird looks when I read it at work.) Some of my favorite lines (that I wish I'd come up with):

“We loved him, had time invested in this relationship, and were angry at him. Do we pull DiCaprio in or let him freeze?”

“Hanging out with friends should reduce stress, like meditation, or orgasms. Take your pick.”

“To summarize, if he had a pet bunny, I think I would've cooked it...of course, I would have braised it with a fruity, yet piquant Chardonnay. I'm not a total barbarian.”

And while there were too many funny lines and scenes to recount, there were also ones that made me cry, the tragic losses that we all experience at one time or another. Overall I found this book 100% engrossing and entertaining, and so honest I felt like I might be reading a diary that I wasn't supposed to find but couldn't bear to slip back in its hiding place.

I'm definitely looking forward to the sequel, I'm curious to see what Liz will get herself into next.

Roughing It - My first draft

2010-07-03T14:44:00.008-04:00

Why is writing so h-a-r-d? For me, anyway. It shouldn't be, given the following things:

1. I know my characters.

2. I know what I want to happen to my characters.

3. I can see the book playing like a movie in my head.

So why is it so hard to translate what I see in my head to the page? My current WIP, Hellbound, is a mess. A MESS. Random scenes everywhere. Some aren't even scenes. Bare conversations between characters. I don't even say which characters are speaking. It looks like this:

“This can't be it.”

“It is.”

“No.”

“I'm sorry if you were expecting a Cinderella story a la your dad. Your mom hasn't changed since you last saw her.”

I legit just copied and pasted that from my MS.

And there's a lot of this: (Insert story about time spent with grandparents, how they seemed nice, etc.)

I even wrote this by one scene: (fix)

Please tell me I'm not the only one who writes like this. Just calling this a rough draft is a stretch...it's like licking sandpaper.

Always a virgin

2010-06-29T20:40:00.004-04:00

I don't always read romance, but sometimes I'm just in the mood for it. But I have one huge, gaping, gnawing complaint:

Why is the heroine ALWAYS a virgin? (And by always I mean....usually.)

Now, sometimes, it is acceptable, understandable, and probable that the heroine would, in reality, be a virgin. Historical or Christian fiction, for example. Or when the heroine entered a convent at 16 and just escaped. And the ever-popular "heroine has 8 huge, menacing big brothers who never let her out of their sight". Etc.

In some cases, however, I have to throw said romance book across the room with an angry groan and an eye roll because it is just so implausible. (Note: I would never throw a book across the room, stupid virgin heroine regardless. Especially as I read most books on my Kindle. Which I lurrrve.)

Case in point. Just read a scene in which a 29 year old, present day, by all appearances modern woman, is somehow, someway, a virgin. Now, let me give you the premise. Heroine, heretofore referred to as "Virgie" has just fled her high society role in her home town after risque photos with a married family man show up in the press. "Virgie" heads to Europe, meets handsome prince, ends up in his bed and

SURPRISE!

Cut to sharp stabby pain, sexy prince instantly calling Virgie out, Virgie insisting they keep going, pain disappering instantly....I'm going to fade to black here because you know what happens....Afterwards Virgie explains that the photos were taken out of context, that she didn't know he was married, blah, blah, blah. None of which explains how she was STILL a virgin!

All this leads me to one inevitable question.

Why are so many romantic heroines virgins?

Romance novels, are, in general, written by and for women. Do women care that other women are virgins? To me, this doesn't add to the romance factor. If anything, it detracts, because for one, it is impossible to write a sexy sex scene with a virgin. There's the pain, minimized though it is, the awkward realization by the man who she generally hasn't told, accompanied by even more awkward explanations.

Now, there is always the possibility that I am just extremely jaded and there are many gorgeous, successful and highly desirable women in the real world who are waiting to meet the perfect man and never indulged in so much as a hormone-fueled high school romp or drunken college frat party fling.

But I doubt it.

You can thank me later

2010-06-22T14:35:00.003-04:00

Are you enjoying the World Cup as much as I am? If not, maybe you should check it out...there's always the chance of seeing this:

I'm cheering for the US, of course, but you can bet I'll be watching Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal ;)

Speaking of insanely hot guys with more definition than a dictionary, I've decided to focus on a new WIP. Wait, those two things have nothing to do with each other. I need to scroll away from this picture before I get distracted by his 80 ab muscles.

yum

Ah. Better. I've shelved Banished for the moment. Something was just off. I couldn't figure out what my MC's goal was. Where she was going. What she wanted. She is being very stubborn, insisting that she doesn't know. I'm confident she'll fess up sooner or later and progress will resume. I've sent her to her room without dessert.

New WIP: Hellbound. Currently at 10,000 words. I'm taking a new approach and praying it doesn't take me a year and half to finish it. I'm going to attempt to get a very rough first draft finished quickly and then focus on revising it. I just want to get it all down and then go back and fix it. With my first two completed books I was unfocused and undisciplined, and only worked on them when I felt like it. I always went back and edited as I wrote. I'm going to get this one written, revised and ready to query!

Schmheriones...A.K.A. Wannabe Heroines

2010-06-19T00:12:00.004-04:00

There seems to be a general consensus among blog writers/commenters that Bella Swan is a useless twit. And I have to say that up until the final scene in Breaking Dawn, I totally agree. I mean, what else does she do besides just not die? Even when she's pregnant with Renesmee, that's all she has to do. Keep her heart beating while strong, capable Jacob and Edward do all the work! But, sadly, Bella isn't the only weak, simpering, annoying heroine. They're everywhere. I like to call them schmheriones. The author would like you to think that she is, in fact, a strong, admirable, intelligent female character. The character even thinks that she is strong and fantastic and ever so worthy of hero's love and attention. But usually she ends up a whining, useless, knight in shining armor needing damsel-in-distress. Here are some key characteristics to look out for. If you spot three or more, you might want to put the book down, because you have encountered a schmherione.

1. An extremely feminine name, usually constituting of a lot of e's, l's, and y's. Lily. Bella. Ella (not always. Ella Enchanted is definitely an exception to this rule). Julia. Holly. Jenny. Serena.

2. A sad situation that was thrust upon her and because of which she is unbearably miserable. Being made to move to a new home. Sent to a posh private boarding school. Homeless. Poor. Gifted with some terrible affliction that she can use to help people but which she views as a curse.

3. The uncanny ability to draw male attention despite being a) not incredibly attractive or funny b) so shy she has difficulty forming sentences around the opposite sex c) is secretly attractive but disguises it with large glasses, ill-fitting clothing and a bad haircut, all of which the male is able to see through to the gorgeousness underneath as if by x-ray vision.

4. Despite all of above qualities, somehow makes friends instantly in new situation and adapts easily to environment she supposedly hates.

5. A schmherione often displays distinctly anti-male, overly feminist views at first, convinced that she doesn't need a man or any help of any kind, but eventually finds herself weak and unable to cope with life and falls face-first at the feet of nearest good-looking male who is much more capable of handling her problems for her.

6. Sometimes a schmherione is friends with an actual heroine, a best friend who is loyal, smart, and yet always takes the back seat to the schmheroine, just because of her acne and slight weight problem or frizzy hair. (I like to think that the loyal bestie slims down and discovers Proactiv in college)

7. Although the schmheroine has no other discernible value, she has one remarkable trait or talent that sets her apart from everyone else and is therefore supposed to redeem her as a human being. (Note: It doesn't.)

I'm sure there are many more traits of a schmheroine that I'm missing, but I'm keeping my boyfriend up and he wants to go to bed (ugh, such a schmheroine thing to say!) so please, add to my list? What am I missing?

Kitten falling in bath tub...You know you want to watch it

2010-06-17T15:20:00.003-04:00

Who needs yet another blog about writing?? This is my cat Bella and my dog Fleuree. Neither one of them ever left me alone when I took baths in our old apartment. If I locked them out they sat by the door and whined. Bella loved playing around on the faucet and walking around the edge of the bath tub. Fleuree liked watching her and trying to knock her off. This was bound to happen, so I started taking my water proof camera into the bath with me.

Is your Mommy there? Umm, ma'am, I'm 23...

2010-06-16T16:16:00.003-04:00

This is Ali. You might know her from The Bachelorette. Ali is 25. You have no trouble believing that, do you?

This is Danielle (me). Danielle is 23.

Question: Why does Danielle not look like she is in fact 23?

Now, I implore you not to become the person saying "It's great that you don't look like you're 23! It will be so wonderful when you're old for people to think that you are younger!"

Yes. It will be nice. When I am actually old.

You might also be saying "She looks like she's 23, what is she complaining about?" I did myself a favor and posted a picture in which I *hopefully* look slightly older. In person, however, I am very, very rarely (read: never) thought to be 23.

Example: Last week at work I asked a co-worker to come in a few minutes early for me. I changed into a dress and heels in the bathroom and was running out of the store. I shouted a thanks to my co-worker who called "Where are you going?" to which I replied "Name of High School's Graduation!" A woman who is a regular and with whom I am on friendly terms was sitting with her own teenaged son and said to me "Congratulations! You go, girl!" I was in a rush, quite shocked by her comment, and too nice to correct her so I nodded and said "Thanks!" and continued on my merry way to watch my friend graduate high school. It reminded me of my own high school graduation, which happened five years ago.

In addition, my best friend is not 20 yet, and people think she's older than me. Although...it's kind of fun to tease her about that.

Anyway, I understand that I shouldn't be complaining about this, and most of the time, I don't really care. I work in a smoothie place, I really don't mind when people think I'm in high school. I almost prefer that they did rather than know that I'm 23 and work in a smoothie shop while I write books. Except. I think that people take me less seriously. I honestly believe that I lost out on management positions (which I was fully qualified for and after making it to the last round of interviews) because of how young I look. I don't think that most adults I encounter take me seriously or speak to me as their equal. I bet that never happens to Ali!

Side note: I read in Cosmo this month that people who have sex three times a week were judged to be several years younger than they actually were. Hmm....

I probably should've followed this advice years ago

2010-06-13T10:29:00.004-04:00

I always thought those tips for getting through a writing dry spell were kind of silly. Go for a walk...write in a journal....take a drive, etc. Umm, turns out, they actually kind of work. I've been completely stalled writing for the past week or so (see previous blog) but yesterday (my first day off in months where I didn't have something pressing to do) I decided to give it a shot. I took a long drive (had to bring boyfriend scuba gear an hour and half away) and listened to music I knew I wouldn't sing along with or be distracted by. Eureka! Ideas for Banished appeared in my head as if by magic. When I got home I took a ridiculously long nap (is 5 hours too much?) and when I woke up I decided to go for a walk. No ipod, no dog, just me and the sidewalk. BAM! More ideas.

I kept them in my head, though. I was afraid to jinx myself by trying to write and finding I couldn't translate the ideas to paper. They were in their infancy, not fully formed, when I tried to go to bed. Turns out that 5 hour nap did me a huge favor, because at midnight I was still up and working on TWO of my WIPs, the ideas I thought of earlier turning themselves into full-fledged scenes.

I can't even tell you how relieved I am to feel creative again. Do you ever feel like when you get into a dry spell you'll never have a good idea ever again? I did. Now just let's hope this lasts!

I need to vent, apologizing in advance

2010-06-10T21:12:00.002-04:00

I haven't been able to write for the past, oh, week or so. I realized that Banished needs yet another round of revision, some pretty major revision, actually. And I've been trying and trying to think of ideas and ways to make the story work better, but I'm blocked. Creativity dead. Brain turning to mush.

And it's because I'm pretty stressed out about other areas of so-called life. My brain is so taken up with thinking about those other things, there's no room for my book.

My boyfriend Cody graduated with his commercial diving license a little over a week ago. YAY! Four long months of being away from each other. So now, naturally, he needs to get a job. Problems. First, he had to go do two more weeks of deep water training 2 hours away. Okay, fine. Then we find out the school hadn't sent out his resume the week of graduation as we thought they were going to. Umm...not cool. Here's why: We are planning to move wherever he gets a job, and it won't be in our current city for sure. Our lease is up August 16. We have to give 60 days notice if we are moving out. That means by next Wednesday. Supposedly they are sending his resume out tomorrow. But now we have less than a week to figure out if we are moving out. If we don't sign a new lease and go month to month, our rent goes up almost 300 dollars. And with Cody not working, that is not possible. If we move out without giving enough notice, we have to pay an additional month's rent. Also, not financially possible. So do we just go ahead and give them notice that we aren't renewing our lease and hope that in the next two months Cody gets a job and we find a new place to live?

I'm sorry, I know this isn't really about writing but I had to vent.

Pretty Little Liars The Show

2010-06-08T20:59:00.003-04:00

I just finished watching the pilot episode of Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family. I gotta say, I wasn't disappointed. When I originally saw pictures of the cast, I was disappointed that Spencer wasn't blonde, that Hanna was, and that Emily looked Asian. But...I think it works. And the casting for Ali, Aria and Melissa are perfect. They made the girls older and changed the timeline, but I understand that was a necessity. It seems to be sticking pretty close to the book, so I'm excited for the rest of the season! Now I have to go watch Glee, even though it's been letting me down every week.

She's buying what!?

2010-06-03T18:41:00.003-04:00

I always wonder if cashiers at grocery stores judge people by what they buy. Seriously, people buy the most random crap! For example, someone *wink wink* bought 2 frozen mac and cheese, 2 bags of mini butterfingers (they were buy one get one free) and toilet paper today. And trust me, that is not the most random or weird combination of things she's ever bought, not by a long shot. I...I mean...she... was still wandering around the store picking up her items and wondering what the cashier was going to think. This girl is lonely, depressed, and has to use the bathroom? Wow, that's a lot of mac and cheese and candy for one girl...etc. But nope, the cashier always just slides the stuff across the scanner, barely even glancing at it with a resigned sort of boredom. I'm always amazed at how nonchalant cashiers can be. If I were one, I'd be studying everything that came down the conveyor, thinking "Now what are they going to do with that?"

As a writer, I think I notice things that no one else does. It's amazing the little details you can file away and use later in your writing. I always look at what the people in line with me are buying. I like looking in peoples windows. Not in a creepy, stalker way, but if I'm passing by and the blinds happen to be open, well, I just want to see if they decorate or if they leave their walls all white and tack up posters. I like looking at peoples key chains. Two keys and nothing else? A bajillion keys and key chains from Disney World and Hawaii? When people open their wallets to pay at work I like to see what's inside. 20 credit cards? Pictures of their kids? Of their cat? Is their money organized? Do they carry a bunch of change? Guys with money clips annoy me. So boring. I love looking at engagement rings. And tattoos. And fingernails. Weirdly shaped ears. Everything. I look at everything.

Hell is other people

2010-06-01T15:44:00.003-04:00

See the picture above? That's me. That's what I've been doing for the past two and a half years. I've been trying to get my boyfriend (hopefully future husband)'s family to like and accept me. What I've really been doing is banging my head against a wall. This past weekend my boyfriend graduated and we spent the whole weekend with his family. And I seriously thought that I had finally made progress. HA! Couldn't have been more wrong. Yesterday, the day after they left, they decided it was appropriate to tell my boyfriend how much they don't like me, all the things I did wrong all weekend, and how I was going to end up pregnant and trap him in a marriage. And that's when I realized. They are never going to like me. Never going to accept me into their family. Never going to stop judging me and interrogating me and deciding that I am just. not. good enough.

And for some reason, all of that hurt me. Hurt me so much that I spent hours crying hysterically to the point of making myself sick. Replaying everything I'd said and done all weekend and trying to figure out where I had gone so horribly wrong. Convincing myself that my boyfriend was going to break up with me, because who wants to be with someone their family hates? Then came the worst part: Maybe I am not good enough for him. Maybe I am a failure because I haven't traveled extensively and don't have a flashy job and make a ton of money. Maybe they are better than me. I've never felt lower.

That was last night. That is over. Now I wonder, why do I care so much what they think? Why do any of us care what other people think?

I know that I am smart and funny and loyal. I tell the truth. I care about my friends and my family and my boyfriend, I would do anything from them. I know I am a talented writer and one day I'm going to be published. Yeah, maybe I don't have a great job, but I'm supporting myself and paying my own bills. It's not my job to convince them that I'm a good person. If they can't see it, what can I do? Nothing. I can only be myself and live my life the way I want to live it. I can't force them to like me. I'm done trying. There's only one person in the world I have to make happy. Me.

Pretty Little Liars

2010-05-31T20:27:00.002-04:00

I started reading the Pretty Little Liars series by Sara Shepard over the weekend. Yeah, I'm probably way behind the times since there's a ridiculous number of books in the series out and clearly I should've started reading it a long time ago. I always saw it in the bookstore and really liked the covers but for some unknown reason never bought it.

I read the first one in about a day and I'm now on the second. And damn, does this woman know how to write a mystery! I have no idea who the mysterious "A" is terrorizing the main characters, and I'm so tempted to Google it and ruin the suspense, but I'm determined to read all the books in order and not cheat.

And, I just saw to my surprise it's about to be a t.v. show on ABC family starting in a few days! I hope the show is as good as the books, it looks like it sticks pretty close to the books but you never know, they destroyed Gossip Girl in my opinion. I better hurry up and get through the series, which with the way I'm racing through them it won't be a problem!

A grown up reading survey

2010-05-29T22:37:00.002-04:00

I saw this survey on Lindsay (a.k.a. Isabella)'s blog ( www.isabellamorgan.blogspot.com) and it totally reminded me of the surveys I used to post constantly on my Myspace when I was 16. This one is much more sophisticated and cool so I had to do it:

Do you snack while you read? If so, favourite reading snack:
I read while doing everything, so sometimes reading and eating coincide. Kindle has simplified the process brilliantly.

What is your favourite drink while reading?

Water. Or soda if I'm being bad

Do you tend to mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in books horrify you?

I would never write in my books. Well, unless someone was asking me to sign it (here's hoping...)

How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book flat open?
Neither. I never use bookmarks or fold the pages. I always just remember what page I'm on or Kindle remembers for me.

Fiction, non-fiction, or both?

Mostly fiction, but I do like historical non-fiction about crazy royalty

Are you a person who tends to read to the end of a chapter, or can you stop anywhere?

I read as much as I can at any given time, but I can stop anywhere usually. Unless it's an especially entertaining scene

Are you the type of person to throw a book across the room or on the floor if the author irritates you?

Nah, I just roll my eyes repeatedly.

If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop and look it up right away?

Nope. Context clues.

What are you currently reading?

She's So Dead to Us by Kieran Scott.

What is the last book you bought?

See above.

Are you the type of person that reads one book at a time, or can you read more than one?
I tend to read one at a time.

Do you have a favourite time/place to read?

I would read all day, every day, if I could.

Do you prefer series books or stand alones?

I really really really love series. I read a lot of them. Mostly I read YA series and stand alone romance/historical fiction/etc.

Is there a specific book or author you find yourself recommending over and over?

Kieran Scott/Kate Brian, Nora Roberts, Phillippa Gregory, to name a few.

How do you organise your books? (by genre, title, author's last name, etc.)
I try to keep series together, and other than that by size so that they look nice on my book shelves. Usually it ends up that the hard cover historicals end up together and the little paperback romances together.

Want to play? Feel free to take the questions and post on your blog, leave me a link here, then check out Storywings and post your answers there as well.

Put. Down. The. Phone. NOW!

2010-05-27T20:49:00.002-04:00

I wish the iPhone had never been invented. There. I said it. I HATE the iPhone. It has ruined my life.

I'm exaggerating, of course. As a writer, it's my right. But I do hate the iPhone, and actually smart phones in general. Everyone I know with an iPhone CANNOT put it down. Step away, people! You are so rude and annoying and ridiculous. I'm trying to have a conversation with you. I'm not sure what you're doing that you can't stop, maybe playing Farmville or Shazaming a song or texting someone far more interesting, but humor me. Pretend to pay attention to what I'm saying to you.

Yes, I understand that iPhones are cool and flashy and fun to play with. But how much good are they doing? How much of your life are you missing because you are constantly using your phone? Pretty soon spoken communication will be non-existent. We'll all just stand next to each other and text. Already no one knows how to spell because their iPhones auto-correct. Phones won't even be capable of making calls. And you won't be able to look away from your phone for even a second. I wonder how we'll drive?

But Glamour said I could sleep around!

2010-05-16T13:26:00.006-04:00

I have to admit, I have a guilty pleasure. It happens every month. In my mailbox. At the grocery store. I'm helpless. I try to stop myself, tell myself it's not worth it. But eventually, I give in.

Magazines. Marie Claire and Good Housekeeping, I have subscriptions to. Glamour, Cosmo, and Real Simple I more often than not break down and buy at the store. Sometimes even US weekly or People sneak into groceries, seemingly on their own. Now, more often than not I get value out of these magazines. Interesting articles, tips, recipes, I actually rip out and keep in a notebook, and I do use them.

This weekend was no different. Knowing I was going to be spending some time hanging out at home, I bought Cosmo and Glamour. Now, I can only read the same sex tips so many times before I want to tear my hair out (really, Cosmo. A. Don't tell me that guys said these things. I know guys don't talk like that. B. Come up with some new ones already) but sometimes there are genuinely interesting articles. Not this time. Two articles in particular actually succeeded in disgusting me.

In Glamour, the article was entitled "How to find love in a world of hookups". The basic gist is that women spend their 20's having casual sex in college and continue to do so post-grad and don't actually know how to date.

"Kelly finds herself doing exactly what we did as undergrads: going out with friends, letting loose, and hooking up with cute men she meets at bars. But at 29, Kelly wonders "Am I too old for this? Should I be dating in a more grown up way?"

"No one dates," says Samantha, 25. "It's simply 'Who are you hooking up with?'" Basically, we're all on an extended spring break. Arguably in many ways, this is great for women. ("I'm having fun--and lots of it!" stresses Kelly). Women today have longer to explore their options....With the old rules gone "nice girls don't" and "sleep with him after the third date", the good news is that we have the freedom to make our own. But the bad news is the longer you stay on spring break, the harder it can be to return to the real world. So how do you go from making out in bars to meeting the love of your life?"

The answers were "be clear on where you stand", "talk about what it meant" and "don't forget your wants/needs/dreams". Basically, the article went on to say keep hooking up casually and hope that one of them turns into a relationship.

Quote: "For Samantha, casual hooking up is fine for now. "I like to go out, get a few drinks, and have fun as much as any other self-respecting girl my age," she says. But she does hope that it will lead to something more, like it did for Ellen, 25. Ellen met Carl at a party, they got tipsy and ended up making out on the dance floor. Afterward, he came back to her apartment, where Ellen realized she'd changed her mind about having sex. Still, he spent the night...spooning her. "Who knew this frat boy was such a gentleman?" she says. Three and half years later, they are very much together and very much in love."

So...I'm supposed to believe that I can never make a guy take me out on dates or get to know me, sleep with him, and he'll somehow decide to take me seriously and date me long-term? I can continue moving from guy to guy, never changing my behavior, and still meet the love of my life? No wonder women are so screwed up if this is the advice they are getting. I'm sorry, ladies, but it's time to wake up. This is not true empowerment. This is not self-respecting. This is not healthy, or fun, or safe.

I hate how accepting many girls my age are of the "hooking up" expectation. It's your choice. The girl in this article says "No one dates." But you don't have to live that way. If women decided they weren't going to have casual relationships, that they would go back to the old "rules" where a guy had to take you out, get to know you, make some sort of commitment to you before you would do anything physical with him, guess what? That's exactly what guys would do. And they would respect you more for it. I know this for. a. fact. I know two types of girls. The ones who go on several dates, don't have sex until months in and get into serious relationships. And the girls who give it up after two days of "hanging out" and then are surprised when the guy stops returning calls. My mother, a very wise lady, started telling me when I was about 12: "Guys like the chase". And it's true. Guys don't want it to be easy. They don't want the future possible mother of the children to be someone who fell into bed with any guy who winked at her at a bar. They don't want to think that 100 other guys can say they know what their wife is like in bed.

It's time for women to wise up. You hold the power, you hold the control. You don't have to give it away so easily. Be honest about what you want. There is no shame in wanting a solid relationship with a guy who treats you well. You deserve that. Don't sell yourself short.

Are you my hero?

2010-05-14T09:21:00.003-04:00

There are numerous types of heroes in books, but here are some of my favorites, as seen in YA, romance, women's fiction, etc.

1. The unwilling hero - Usually found in romances, especially those about Scottish Highland chiefs (I'm a sucker for them). This guy has no time for love or intimacy, he's usually fighting a war or running a secret mission that no woman can get in the way of (except that she inevitably does). He fights tooth and nail not to fall in love or admit that he has feelings of any kind, which is a losing battle. Their corresponding heroine is just so sweet/warm/kind or brave/fiery/independent that this hard, unfeeling rock of a man has no choice but to rescue her and admit that he is really a big soft teddy bear on the inside when it comes to her.

2. The all-too-willing hero - The opposite of the unwilling hero, this guy is probably a firefighter, a police officer, a body guard, etc. He pretty much walks around looking for a vulnerable woman in need of rescuing, and when he finds her it's love at first sight. He then spends a great deal of time rescuing said woman repeatedly and convincing her that she needs him. Corresponding heroine, who I call "Perilous Penelope" (anyone remember that cartoon?) is for some reason in constant danger from numerous threats from which she is always rescued by willing hero who is conveniently stalking her. She will eventually admit that she needs said hero to defeat the evil forces after her, feel guilty for putting him in so much danger, and get pregnant.

3. The best friend hero - "Hi, my name is Jacob Black. I've been a best friend hero for 2 movies now." Hi, Jacob! This is the guy who is there for the girl when her unwilling hero is being, well, unwilling. He steps up and comforts heroine (depressed, beautiful crying girl) and might receive a kiss on the cheek as a reward, but eventually fades into the black when unwilling hero has epiphany and shows up again to make crying girl knock off the tears. Pretty common in YA.

4. The bad-boy hero - Different from the unwilling hero in that this guy is really not a hero at all, but his heroine chooses to ignore that fact and believe that under all the tattoos and jail-time is a guy who will lay in bed and cuddle for hours. Sometimes best-friend hero shows up after bad-boy hero messes up irrevocably, and sometimes bad-boy hero is miraculously rehabilitated into the perfect guy (but you have to wonder how long after the book ends he ends up like Jesse James).

5. The Backstreet Boy hero - Very popular in YA, this guy is your average high school student that the cheerleader/new girl/geeky girl can't resist. He's pretty much harmless and asexual, most often being described as "hot". He gets a few chaste kisses if the girl is lucky, and if she's not he just sits at his desk while she stares at the back of his head longingly. He's mostly in the story as eye candy, shows up as needed and spends the rest of the time playing basketball.

6. The Accountant - This is the husband in many women's fiction, literary fiction, historical, etc. He's basically oblivious, he goes to work as an accountant, insurance salesman or similar while his wife deals with traumatic inner turmoil and depression resulting in a near affair, at which point she realizes how stable and great her husband is. Many times at the end of the book he reveals that he is a real person capable of thought and is very sweet and loving towards his wife now that she has resolved whatever issues she was having. Also the father in many YA books, remote and irrelevant.

7. The Widower - This it The Accountant made interesting by the fact that his wife has died. Now he will meet beautiful nurse/teacher/dead wife's best friend and must accept that his wife would've wanted him to be happy or his two-year-old needs a mommy and make himself fall in love again. After much inner-struggle and mourning of dead wife, The Widower will ultimately marry new girl who would never want to take dead wife's place (yeah, right) and feel overwhelming sense of peace knowing dead wife is smiling at him from Heaven.

So, who are your favorite stereotypical heroes? Who did I miss? Know of any unwilling Scottish chiefs I should be reading about?

So...what's next?

2010-05-11T16:19:00.003-04:00

It's that time of year again. Graduation time. Facebook is flooded with pictures and status updates and comments. I graduated from college 2 years ago. Yikes, where have those two years gone anyway? Now, as the people a few years younger than me, and some fifth and sixth year seniors my age graduate, I can't help but notice a common theme. Every status or picture has a comment underneath, with some well-meaning relative or acquaintance saying: "Congratulations! What's next?"

Good. Freaking. Question.

No one ever told me what came after college. I'm not sure anyone actually knows what you're supposed to do after college. Your whole life you're told what to do. First they send you to pre-school. They teach you to share and know your colors. Lovely. Next you go to elementary school, where you learn the basics, reading, writing, etc. Getting closer. Middle school, kind of a preview for high school. Then you make it to high school. And you are almost a real person. Your parents let you out of their sight for extended periods of time. You can drive. And if you make it through those four years of torture....COLLEGE!!! WHOOO!!!

College is awesome. Independence (well, except for financial, but that's the best part). Decision-making. Don't want to go to class? Don't. Want to stay up all night, because it's 4 am already and class is at 7 so why sleep? Go ahead. The craziness that is Spring Break. I could go on and on.

Then, after four (or in my case three, not to brag but for the sake of accuracy) carefree, wonderful years you make it to graduation day. And you think "I did it! I'm a college graduate!" and then people burst your shiny little bubble and ask "So, what's next?"

And guess what? No one is there to tell you what's next. You're completely, 100% on your own. No parents tying your shoes and sending you off to the office. After approximately 22 years of being shown what to do, it's up to you. Now, along with trying to find the dream job, soulmate, home, you have to pay bills, do laundry, clean, and do all manner of other things that used to be handled by your parents. It's a lot of pressure, and I wish all those graduating now or in a few years luck.

2 years later I'm still not sure what's next, but I'm working on it.

The Re-Reader

2010-05-08T21:14:00.003-04:00

I'm a chronic re-reader. I re-read books over and over again until the covers are falling off and the pages are crinkled (yikes, I'm hard on the books I love). My mom reads a book once and very rarely ever touches it again. She will, however, watch chick flicks that she's seen a hundred times (Legally Blonde, When Harry Met Sally, you know the ones) anytime they're on TV. I'm the same way, with movies AND books. Here are a list of books that have influenced/inspired/entertained me through dozens of readings:

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine - a classic, of course. This book inspired me to start writing fairy tales when I was in elementary school, and I plan to work on one after my current WIP. I just wish they hadn't completely destroyed it in the movie version.

The Protector of the Small series and The Song of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce - female knights, princes, mythical creatures, cute boys - these books have it all. Tamora Pierce definitely inspired me to write strong female characters who aren't afraid to be themselves and compete with the guys.

Queen of Camelot by Nancy McKenzie, Pendragon's Banner Trilogy by Helen Hollick - I LOVE books about King Arthur. I wish there were more of them.

Anything by Kate Brian - The Private Series, The Privileged Series, etc. - Kate Brian (one of Kieran Scott's pen names) is hands down my favorite YA author (I think I've mentioned that before) I love her voice, completely authentic of YA, her description, and she kills me with cliffhangers every time. She's definitely not afraid to be hard on her characters.

Anything by Philippa Gregory - I've been obsessed with all things English since I learned about Henry VIII chopping off his wives heads in middle school (wow, that sounds morbid...) and Philippa Gregory brings flat historical figures to life in her novels.

I could keep going, and going, and going (I'm the Energizer bunny of books) but I'll leave it at that for now. I've got some books to re-read.

I hate blue cheese and snakes and so does my MC

2010-04-28T20:04:00.005-04:00

I'm reading a new book I downloaded on my kindle today. It's a romance about a hot firefighter, if you're interested. Blame it on the wine store patio next to the smoothie shop catching on fire and the subsequent firefighters. Sadly for me, the sprinklers had already put out the fire so I didn't really get to see them in action....I'm getting off track. Sorry. What I wanted to talk about was how writers insert their own opinions/pet peeves/dislikes into their writing, and sometimes it's downright amusing. I read one scene in this particular book and thought "Well, I guess I know how the author feels about that!"

In the scene, the damsel-in-distress is picking her heroic firefighter (is firefighter one word or two? firefighter. fire fighter. I could go look at the book but I'm lazy) up from the hospital and has to bring him clothes. She brings him bright pink boxers with smiley faces on them. He balks at them and she says he could just not wear underwear (she'd also brought him jeans). He then tells her (his lip curling) "That's gross. Not to mention unsanitary."

Umm, seriously? I don't know any guy who would be so disgusted at the idea of not wearing underwear. In fact I know several who don't wear underwear at all, ever. (Not gonna explain how I know that.) I suppose there are men out there who don't like not wearing underwear, but it is such a woman thing to make a fuss about, yet she had a male character saying it. I found it pretty amusing, but I now know where the author stands on men's undergarments. I'd venture to say her husband would never dare to go commando.

The author did this again a few pages later, when the heroine asks the sexy fire fighter what his favorite foods are and he tells her he hates pasta. She replies "That's not normal." He tell her he knows but "It's slimy. Blech." Would you guess that the author doesn't like pasta for that reason and has had numerous people tell her that's not normal? I would.

I think that most authors do this. I know I do. I will never be able to write a character who likes blue cheese. I think that inserting little quirks that are your own pet peeves can help make your characters more interesting and more real, and it's probably easier to remember what your characters quirks are when they are the same as yours. But...it has to make sense for the character.

The Writing Slug

2010-04-18T18:36:00.004-04:00

That's me. As a writer, I am a slug. I open my document and drag myself along, a few words here and there smeared along behind me on the page. I pull myself forward, inch by slimy inch. Oh, it's a long sidewalk I journey across, finally slipping down into the grass when I write "The End". But sluggy me only gets to rest in the cool grass for a few luxurious moments before I heave myself back onto the rough pavement and scrap my belly through revision after revision.

Haha, that sounds kind of gross. Still, it's accurate. I'm a slow snail of a writer. I can't sit down and write for hours at a time. I can't churn out pages and pages of words and make them a coherent story. I write scene by scene. Sometimes it gets so bad that I write sentence by sentence. I might get through one scene before I stop writing and go do something else. Sometimes I'll come back to writing after a few minutes, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I write a paragraph and stop. The fastest I ever write is when some lightning bolt of inspiration strikes, and I can write an entire scene in one sitting. And those lightning bolts? Well, the Gods of Writing don't favor me with those very often.

This is something that I've struggled with for as long as I've been writing (ahem, forever.). I can't write fast. I know writers who can write an entire book, granted a very rough draft, in three months. Sometimes less. It took me over two years to write my first book, a little over a year to write the second (although, I have to factor in being in college and working and then graduating and working full time, and I also started several other books which are unfinished). Still, I'm not a fast writer. I sit down, tell myself I'm just going to get it all on the page and revise it later, and ten minutes later I stop.

Any advice on writing faster? What do you do when you reach a place in your writing and don't feel like going further at that moment? How fast do you write?

Be a vengeful writing god

2010-04-13T15:14:00.004-04:00

You are a god.

In writing, that is. Not in your day to day life. Sorry, didn't mean to get your hopes up. But in terms of your writing, you are a god. The creator. All-powerful. You hold the fate of your characters in your hands. Now the hard part about being a god. Sometimes...most of the time...you have to be a vengeful, angry, cruel god.

I love my characters. They are my babies. I want them to be happy, smiley people walking under a rainbow with a bird singing on their shoulder. I don't want them to be sad or upset or hurt. But guess what? No one wants to read about Snow White playing with little animals. They want to read about Snow White being attacked by her stepmother and poisoned. Oh yeah, waaayyy more interesting. You have to be hard on your characters. Putting them in bad situations and seeing how they react is the best part of your story. Make things bad. Then make them worse.

Aren't these the books that we love the most? Perfect example -The Hunger Games. Things never stop getting worse in this book, and I love it. The Twilight Series? Same thing. I highly doubt Stephenie Meyer enjoyed sending Edward away and making Bella a completely depressed zombie chick.

So, are you making things hard enough on your characters? Or are you going easy on them out of love? I don't know who originally said it but it's good advice my mom always tells me "Push your characters out on a limb. Then cut the limb." (Or something like that.)

This made me smile

2010-04-07T22:42:00.002-04:00

At work yesterday, a woman came in. I'd never seen her before, but she was very nice and polite. As she was leaving, she said "You have a great day!" (which is usually my line) and I replied "Thanks, you too!"

She beamed and said enthusiastically "I will!"

I'm ashamed to say that sometimes when people tell me to have a great day I think "ha, too late!", while I smile and walk away. This woman reminded me that sometimes all it takes to make it a great day is believing that it will be.

Finding Motivation

2010-04-06T17:57:00.003-04:00

What do you do on those days where you just. don't. feel. like. writing? Because I'm having one of those days. I'm laying in bed, and I know I should be writing. I've been repeating it in my head. "Danielle, open the computer. Start working on Banished. Write. WRITE DAMMIT!" And, no such luck. I have no motivation to write (which, rather ironically, motivated me to write this blog). I don't feel like it. I kind of have a headache and I'm kind of hungry and it's kind of hot. Plus I took a nap which made me feel more tired.

The dilemma now is, do I force myself to write, knowing that I really don't feel like it? I didn't write yesterday either. And I've given myself a deadline for the end of May to finish revising Banished. Or do I give myself a pass? Assuming that anything I write won't be as good as it could be if I truly felt like writing?

Being Descriptive

2010-04-04T21:09:00.003-04:00

I'm baaacckkk!

I took this week off, mostly because of too much work, followed by an amazing weekend off - I took my best friend to my hometown. We stayed with my lovely parents and spent all Saturday getting nice and red at the beach. Now if only I didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn and go to work tomorrow....

Revisions on Banished are coming along, I'm up to chapter six!

Now. Down to business. Descriptions. How much is too much? Less is more? What do you go by?

I know that I'm like a lot of writers in that when I write it's like watching a movie in my head and I'm just describing what I'm seeing. Of course, in my head, I know exactly what everything looks like. What's going on in the background. What the characters are wearing. The weather. The colors. The sound. But usually when I'm reading what I've written, I've left a lot of those things out.

Because I forget that whoever is going to read this can't see inside my head.

Sounds ridiculous, I know. Of course the reader only has the words that you put on the page to tell them what is going on. That's why it's a book and not a movie. Duh. I get so wrapped up in dialogue (because that is waaaayyy more fun to write and also comes more naturally to me) that I forget to describe the setting as much as I probably should. Here's where I admit that as a reader, I skim. I really don't care about the little details. I want the action. I want the dialogue. But as a writer, I have to be aware that some people need the little details, the descriptions, to truly make the story come alive.

However, I think it's a fine line between setting the scene and getting bogged down in useless information. Case in point. Stephenie Meyer. I love the Twilight books as much as the next person (Unless the next person is a fourteen year old girl convinced she's going to marry R-Patz. In which case, I don't love it quite as much), but I feel like she includes soo much extra description that I just skipped over because I really didn't care. For example, this is from when Bella is at the beach:

"The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing strips wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return."

Now, clearly, this kind of descriptive writing works for her. But I am never, in a million years, going to be able to write like this (even if I wanted to).

So, how do you know how much description to give? How much detail do you include? Where do you cross the line between giving the reader enough to picture the story and making their eyes glaze over?

Time Suckage

2010-03-28T19:47:00.002-04:00

One of the biggest obstacles for my writing. It's not writer's block, it's not a lack of creativity or ideas. It's time suckage (I have to give my mom credit for this word). You know, you have free time and you think, rather ambitiously, "I'm going to write for hours!" So you sit down in front of your computer and before you can even open your document you think, oh, I'll just do a few other things first...Next thing you know it's been three hours and you haven't written a word. (Oh, and by "you" I mean "me." Unless you do this too, in which case, I do mean you.) Here's a play-by-play of how my time gets sucked away:

I sit, well, lie down, on my unmade bed, determined to work on Banished.

But first I have to check facebook. Read status updates, look at new pictures, like a few posts. Maybe write on a few friends walls. Update my own status.

Well, now I should just check my e-mail, real quick. Might as well check my other account, see if I got any blog comments.

Check Twitter. Only to see my favorite author's updates. Think about updating my own and then remember that no one cares. My best friend is pretty much the only person who reads it because it goes to her phone. She already knows what I'm doing anyway.

Hmm, do I have enough to pay the electric bill? Better check my bank account. Wait, how much was that electric bill? Better check. Ooh, and the credit card bill is due soon. Check that too. Add electric bill and credit card bill. Add rent. Add water bill. Cry.

I'm not a big fan of myspace, but I should probably make sure I don't have any friend requests or something. Check myspace.

Turn on t.v. Spend ten minutes trying to find something suitable to watch.

Dog is whining at the foot at the bed. Must take dog out. Feed dog.

Okay, am going to write now.

Cat is meowing, she's freaked out by the reflections of light on the ceiling coming through the blinds. Make cat go in the living room.

Show is on commercial. Flip channels some more.

Cat is meowing again, wants to go out on the porch. Get up, let cat out.

Get back in bed. Now dog is whining and wants to be picked up and put on bed.

Hmm, should check the Query Tracker forum. And read some blogs. Okay, now I'm ready to write.

But...I'm pretty tired. I have been up and working since 7 this morning. Maybe I'll just take a little nap....ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Given that this is my typical routine, it's kind of amazing that I've managed to write an entire book at all. Plus I left out the many, many games of Bejeweled I've gotten sucked into playing. Not to mention the time I was on a huge Farm Town kick. Add the fact that I'm not the fastest writer to begin with.It seems like I get sucked into the time trap every time. Is it a lack of self-control on my part? Can I blame technology which has given me so many other things to pay attention to and participate in?

Bejeweled is perfection for avoiding thinking, although I wouldn't suggest playing. You will end up a crazy, sleep-deprived writer who isn't writing.

I think you have to approach time suckage just as you would any addiction. You have to admit that you are a time sucker. You have to realize that certain things, like Bejeweled, are nothing but time suckers, and will never be anything else. Playing a hundred games of Bejeweled will never accomplish anything, even if you get the high score.

So, I've taken the first step. I admit that I have a problem. I know that I'm never going to be able to not check my facebook or my e-mail, but my new resolution is to spend only half an hour on-line before I write, visiting websites in order of priority. Naps, well, they might still have to happen. But. I'm setting an alarm.

And, sorry, Bejeweled, but we're done. I just don't think we're good for each other.

Shy

2010-03-27T15:43:00.002-04:00

I haven't written a blog, in, uh, forever....hope I remember how. Being sick + working overtime = 0 time to write. Anything.

So, I've spent the last several days blowing my nose and making smoothies. NOT at the same time. That would be gross. Although I did have to the insanely intense urge to cough as I was making a wrap in front of a customer. I've never made a wrap that fast, I basically threw it at her so I could run to the back room and let loose. But I'm getting off track.

I'm relatively new to the blogging, creating an on-line presence thing. And so far, I haven't had any trouble. Well, with the technical side of it. I'm young, and I'm pretty sure understanding technology is a requirement for my generation. But with the whole social side? The entire point of having a blog and twitter and facebook and commenting on writing forums? Yeah, I'm struggling. Because, for some weird reason, when I get on-line, I'm SHY!

There. I said it. I'm shy. Whew, it's a relief to finally admit it!

I'm shy to write comments on people's blogs, or comment on forums, or send friend requests. I hope this doesn't sound crazy. Being on-line and therefore basically anonymous should make it easier to talk to strangers, right? Not for me. They can't see me, can't hear me, don't know where I am or what I'm doing. I could be writing this in my underwear eating cheetos dipped in chocolate syrup (I'm not, btw. Or maybe I am?) But that's the problem. I'm a total stranger. I'm so afraid to leave a comment and have the other person go "Who is the hell is this? And why are they writing this?"

I hate updating my Twitter. How full of myself does it make me to think that someone actually cares what I'm doing? I update my facebook status, but that's because, well, facebook is the one place I actually feel secure in my on-line persona. I'm not DaniSue, the YA writer/blogger. I'm Danielle, the struggling college grad. All my friends on facebook know me as that. And they are my close friends (for the most part) and I know they like reading my status updates and looking at my pictures and duh, they are in a lot of them.

Oh jeez, this does make me sound crazy. Because the rational part of my brain knows that everyone else who is blogging is doing so because they want people to read their thoughts and comment on them. They want to make connections and network and gain knowledge from each other. If they didn't, they wouldn't be writing a blog. And I want people to read my blog and enjoy it and leave me comments too. But the self-conscious, self-esteem gnawing monster in my brain says "No one cares what you have to say. What do you know?" and then it laughs maniacally. So when I want to leave a comment on a blog I have to yell "Shut up!" before I press the "post a comment" button. Then I have to repeat that the person who wrote the blog wants to know what I thought about it. And then after I fill out that goofy letter security thing, I say "ha!". Beat you this time you shy- awkward-left-over-from-my-teens insecurity monster.

Blog Award ::blushes:::

2010-03-19T14:36:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Deb for the Sugar Doll Award!

I'm pretty new to the award thing, but I'm supposed to pass it on to five other bloggers and write 10 things. I'm gonna have to think about who to give it to, since Deb already gave it to some of the blogs I would've given it to!

I've been sick (again!?) this week but still had to go to work. Don't worry, I tried not to cough in anyone's smoothie.

I helped my mom work on her query letter. It felt good to be able to return the favor, she's helped me on my writing so many times

No one ever believes that I have as many tattoos as I do (or any at all)

People still think I'm in high school, and I like it. Guess they don't notice the gray hair.

I'm watching Hot Fuzz on Comedy Central. I freaking love this movie. "You're a doctor, deal with it." Classic.

If I could go back to when I first started college, I probably would've majored in accounting. Or interior design. But oddly enough, still wouldn't get a degree in English.

Some movies I could recite line for line: Home Alone, Clueless, Bridget Jones's Diary, While you were Sleeping, When Harry Met Sally...I could keep going. But I won't. Superbad.

I like Twilight, I'm not obsessed, but the fact that Bella doesn't pick Jacob PISSES ME OFF!!

Ahem. Sorry, it upsets me every time I think about it.

I don't have a favorite color. I love every color. Except for orange. Orange is just ok.

I'm going to get sappy here--but my boyfriend Cody is pretty much the coolest person ever. He makes me do this :) all the time.

Ooh, one thing I've been wanting to talk about, smoothie-related. Why do people insist on coming in and asking "Which one is low-carb?" or "Which one has the least sugar?"

Now, to someone not familiar to the particular smoothies we sell, I'll explain. Our smoothies are made with whole, frozen fruit and 100% juice. So.

It is impossible to have a low-carb fruit smoothie. Because fruit? Basically all carbs. But what people fail to understand, even as I explain it slowly in two-year-old type language, is that while yes, high in carbs, it's all natural sugar from the fruit. It's not the same as shoving a Snickers in your mouth. Our fruit isn't in syrup, and we don't add any extra sugar. Our smoothies are even pretty low-cal, the lowest is only 170 calories for a small. So please people, stop worrying about carbs and sugar and calories! Sometimes they're not as important as you think.

Scandal by Kate Brian

2010-03-17T21:32:00.000-04:00

Just finished reading it, the 11th (I guess technically 12th if you count the prequel Last Christmas) book in the Private series. Loved it, as usual!

I started reading this series when the very first book, Private, came out, and I've been hooked ever since. Kate Brian is probably my favorite YA author, and definitely in my Top Ten Favorite Authors Ever.

I don't know how she does it. I've read a lot of YA series, and sooner or later they all lose me. Some of them start out great but a few books in the story lines seem to dry up and start going nowhere. The characters don't grow, and I end up not caring about them at all. One series, which I continued reading long after I should have stopped, was so poorly written/edited the story lines contradicted themselves from one book to the next, and one character's last name even changed! Another series, a spin off from another great series became completely boring and beyond pointless. In the last book I read NOTHING happened.

Not Kate Brian and the Private series. Every book is so action packed and exciting, plus she kills me with cliffhanger endings that leave me salivating for the next book (which doesn't take a year to come out, love that!!) . I absolutely love the main character, Reed. She does things that I would never, ever be brave enough to do. She makes mistakes but she learns from them and she usually tries to do the right thing. Plus she has oodles of hot guys lusting after her, which, you know, can't hurt. There are a ton of supporting characters but I never feel confused about who is who.

I hope one day my series can be as well written and successful as hers!

What today is not

2010-03-09T18:15:00.000-05:00

Today is NOT my birthday. Ok well, technically, according to my driver's license, it is. But. I have decided to postpone. I'm not trying to avoid being older, although 23 doesn't sound quite as young or as attractive as 22, if you ask me. But today has been pretty sucktacular therefore, postponed.

My parents drove almost four hours to see me, which was very sweet and the thing I was most excited about, more so than it being my birthday at all. But they couldn't stay very long and it reminded me that I'm not sure when the next time I will be able to see them for an extended period of time is. Sadness.

Second, I miss Cody. So. Freaking. Much. It doesn't feel like my birthday without him here to celebrate it with me. Last year we had so much fun, he took me to Discovery Cove to swim with the dolphins and out to my favorite restaurant, so I can't help but compare today with that day a year ago.

Third, my bestie is sick and in A LOT of pain and therefore also can't celebrate with me. I'm worried about her and hoping they find out what is wrong with her soon. And when they do and she's feeling better, then it can be my birthday.

Fourth, phone call from former boyfriend/best friend who decided to completely cut me out of his life (for the second time, and without so much as a goodbye) a month or so ago. And yet he thinks he can call me up and leave me this casual voice mail about how even though I'm mad at him he can still say happy birthday to me? Mad at him?? Is he serious? I'm not mad at him. Not anymore. I'm so over that. And over our relationship and everything we used to have together (well...I'm getting there. Maybe not completely over it, yet.). So it is not my birthday because he doesn't get to wish me happy birthday anymore.

Maybe I'll have more than one birthday this year. Maybe Saturday when Cody is home and we can go out. Maybe when bestie is feeling better and we can go out. Maybe when I can actually take a few days off and visit my parents. Yeah, I'm liking this plan.

But, I have to add that two of my friends are trying to help me salvage the day and taking me to dinner :)

Hey, whatcha reading?

2010-03-02T18:32:00.000-05:00

Does this bother anyone else? When someone sees you reading and they decide that the most appropriate question is "What are you reading?" I cannot describe how much it bugs me! I hate it when people ask me that.

There is an exception, which is when my mom asks because I know she genuinely wants to know and might possibly want to read the same book.

As for the rest of the people who ask (my boss, my co-workers, my boyfriend) my response is to hold up the cover or, if it's on my Kindle reply with a sassy "A book." Because seriously, none of them are big readers. So if I tell them the name of the book and the author, it's not like they're going to respond "Oh, isn't her way with description fantastic! I haven't read her new release yet but the last one was great."

No, that never happens. If I do give the name of the book and/or author, it is inevitably followed up with another even more annoying question:

"What's it about?"

A couple of issues with this question. First, it's very difficult to explain a book in one sentence, especially when the book is complex. Could I say "Oh, the Hunger Games is about teenagers who have to fight to the death because of the government"? Umm, no. That's sounds ridiculous and does the book no justice at all. Second, why should I bother explaining it when the majority of people a) don't really care and b) have no interest in ever reading the book anyway?

Therefore, I usually revert to a sullen teenager and answer "Stuff."

Now I'm thinking I sound kind of bitchy. Maybe if I got into an animated conversation about the book and how great it is and what it's about I could inspire the people around me to actually read a book. But...then again, maybe people should just not bother me when I'm reading. Problem solved.

The Hunger Games, Bleeding Violet, and Wake

2010-02-27T16:42:00.000-05:00

The three YA books I've read in the past week or so. Here are my thoughts (warning, there are some spoilers!):

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. One word. A-maz-ing. I literally could not put it down. I've heard a lot about this book for the past few months, but it didn't really appeal to me. Futuristic, dystopian - so not my taste. But I finally gave in because I just had to know what all the fuss was about. And also read something different from what I normally pick up. And I am so glad I did. This book lived up to all the hype and more. It was fast-paced, action packed, and so well written. I loved the descriptions. I felt like I was watching a movie. But she didn't go overboard, like so many authors do, where you end up getting completely bogged down in useless descriptions. She created this world so concisely I had no trouble picturing it whatsoever, yet she didn't tell me every last detail so that I couldn't make my own picture in my head. And the characters, who I thought I wasn't going to like at first, grew on me so much throughout the story and became so unique, even the minor ones. And of course the plot is completely intriguing. I can't wait to read the sequel, which for some reason isn't on Kindle yet. :(

Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves. Also a book that I heard a lot of buzz about. At first it was all rave reviews, but when I read reader reviews on Amazon I was surprised to see a lot of mixed reviews, some of which were downright angry and cruel. And I have to say, I was slightly disappointed with the book. No doubt it's an interesting concept, girl runs away to a town plagued by monsters, but I never got a good sense of Hanna, the MC, or really any of the characters. Hanna has all these things that you think would make her interesting; bi-racial, manic depressive, etc. but she fell flat for me. I never understood why she was so promiscuous, or why that was even necessary for her character. I have no problem with sex in YA books, when it's done right and has some sort of meaning in the story.

In Bleeding Violet, Hanna admits to being slutty and sleeps with the hero, Wyatt, seemingly for no real reason at all other than that she could. It didn't seem to move the story forward or have any impact at all, Hanna doesn't even take it seriously, so what was the point?

I felt like there were some inconsistencies in the story, the plot got confusing at times. I also felt like I didn't get a clear picture of what the characters looked like, what the monsters looked like, etc.

Finally, Wake by Lisa McMann (and also Fade by Lisa McMann). At first I thought that the third person present tense in which the books are written was very distracting. Janie walks to the kitchen. Janie drinks orange juice..., etc. But the more I got into the story, the less I noticed it. I didn't like Janie at first, but she so grew on me. The premise, about a girl who gets sucked into other dreams and has the ability to change the dream, is so different and interesting. It's hard not to want to see what happens. The hero, Cabel, I totally fell in love with. You don't really notice him to begin with, but when he finally starts showing up you realize what a totally great guy he is. He and Janie make a great pair and I loved the interaction between them, it was so genuine. They are pretty mature for teenagers, but it's believable because of their pasts.

I also read the sequel, Fade, which I enjoyed even more than Wake. Now I'm just waiting for the third book, Gone, to be available on Kindle :)

Interview with my character

2010-02-27T13:46:00.000-05:00

My feisty MC Jeanie has agreed to an interview with me. It went, uh, not so well. I think I pissed her off and I wouldn't be surprised if she refuses to ever do this again. But it was quite helpful, so it was worth it.

DM: Hey, Jeanie. Thanks for talking to me like this.

JT: Hey. No prob.

DM: How are things going with you since you moved to Missouri?

JT: Seriously? It's Missouri. It sucks.

DM: *raises eyebrows*

JT: Like, hardcore sucks. Not normal, I'm-so-bored-because-I-stare-at-cows-all-day sucks. Sucks like this place is completely backward and oh yeah, they're trying to kill me sucks.

DM: Damn.

JT: I know.

DM: So...is there anything you like about Missouri?

JT: *sighs* Yeah.

DM: Such as....?
JT: God, this is so lame but... I like the air here. It's dry. It's not like in Florida when you walk out of the house and the air sticks to you. I like the hills. Everything in Florida is flat. There are real animals here. Like deer and shit. That's kinda cool, I guess. And...things move slower. People aren't in a rush all the time. They are homicidal maniacs, but they take their time with stuff.

DM: If you could go back to Florida, would you?
JT: If I could go back and things would be how they used to be, then yes. In a heartbeat. The way they are now? No. I can't.

DM: You can't?

JT: I CAN'T!

DM: *clears throat* Right. Sorry. Aren't there any people you like here? A boy, maybe?
JT: *rolls eyes* You mean Pierce, right?

DM: Uh, well, yeah? He's like your...well, not your boyfriend, but your, um, make out buddy?

JT: Make out buddy? *laughs* I like that. *cocks head to side* That's a good term for it, actually. Although...he's pretty good at the make out stuff, but the buddy part? He needs some work.

DM: Yeah? Why is that?
JT: Oh, I don't know, because I can trust him about as far as I can throw him? And he has this creepy habit of showing up at weird places at inconvenient times. Plus he doesn't tell me anything, ever. Just these vague warnings and lame excuses....

DM: Sounds frustrating.

JT: Gee, ya think?

DM: Whoa, what's with the 'tude?

JT: *sighs and shakes head* I'm sorry. Not your fault that Pierce is an ego-tripping mystery man and everyone is out to get me. Wait...that is your fault!

DM: *looks away guiltily* Sorry about that. *grimaces*

JT: Ugh. It's whatev.

DM: So, anyway... is that your natural hair color?

JT: Yes.

DM: Really? Cuz it looks too perfect to be real.

JT: Well, it is.

DM: *sighs wistfully* I always wanted perfectly highlighted blonde hair like that.

JT: Probably why you gave it to me. *flips hair over her shoulder tauntingly*

DM: True. But let me get back to the deep, hard-hitting questions. What's your plan?

JT: My plan?

DM: Yeah. For dealing with what's happening in Fillmore. You do have a plan, correct?

JT: *Scoffs.* Of course I have a plan. I'm going to...well, try not to be murdered in that little sacrificial ceremony they like so much. And I'm probably going to have to figure out exactly what this cult is after and where they came from so I can blow this thing wide open.

DM: How are you going to do that?

JT: Plan A? Beat the shit out of Pierce until he gives me some answers. Plan B? Well. Let's just hope I won't need a plan B.

Is this week over yet?

2010-02-17T20:30:00.000-05:00

No? It's only Wednesday? Awesome. Hmm...let's put a positive spin on this depressing little fact and say that there are four more days with the chance to make this week improve!

Can I just say that there is nothing in the world (that I can think of) that makes me feel more powerless and vulnerable than when my car is not functioning properly? Ridiculous, I know. But the second I turn the key and the engine doesn't make the happy, let's-get-moving noise that it's supposed to, I almost instantly start to cry. And when it makes pathetic, dear-G0d-put-it-out-of-its-misery clicking and coughing noises, I just know my car is crying with me. I know it's trying its poor little heart out to start for me. And that happened to me TWICE this week. Heartbreaking.

In addition to feeling awful for my poor car who never wants to disappoint me, there is the helplessness of being stranded and having to pester kindly friends for rescue. Ick. I love my friends and do not want to burden them with my car-less-ness, even if they are sweet enough to assure me that it's no problem. So many questions have to be answered: How am I going to get home? What about work tomorrow? What about taking the car in? Picking it up? What if it's not fixable!??? I can't afford a car payment. I can't even afford to have my nails done! How am I going to get a new car?

Then there is the ever so pleasant trip to the dealership. Woke up bright and early, prayed that my dear friend would start, and was promptly crushed when it didn't. Yet another demoralizing effect of a sickly car, having to call AAA for a jump. Decided against having the car towed because I figured if I was sitting there waiting they would work on my car faster. And it worked. Except that EIGHT hours later (caught up on all the morning news shows, Family Feud, the soaps and Oprah) they still couldn't figure out the problem.

Which leads to the next thing I HATE about having a broken down car. Mechanic talk. ABS module? Error codes? Speed sensors? 16 hours of looking at my car later and finally figuring out the problem, the guy is speaking and it's all making perfect sense. He's explaining it in detail, I'm asking questions....Ten minutes later when I'm trying to explain the problem to someone else? Not the case. What did he say again?

"The thingy, the ABS module, uh, it isn't, like, telling the computer how fast the car is going? So like, the computer, um, freaks out and uh...won't accelerate right? Oh, f***, I don't know."

There is nothing like trying to understand car problems to make me feel like a complete idiot. I don't know how the engine works. No. Freaking. Clue. So trying to explain the intricacies of it to me? Yeah, not gonna help.

Dealing with car problems is the thing that I detest the most about being a (sort-of) grown up. I would rather go to the dentist. Well, I don't really mind the dentist. I should use a different saying. But you get the idea. So here's hoping that I can get my hands on a new car and not have to deal with it breaking down for a long, long, looooonnnnggg time.

Shocking news just in: I like editing/revising.

2010-02-11T23:47:00.001-05:00

Umm, yeah, it surprised me too. I thought this was going to be the most tedious, frustrating part of the writing process for me. Turns out that was the actual writing of the book! Gasp. I just started the second round of revising on Banished. And I'm loving it. It's amazing to see how much the story is improving, how little changes can make a big difference, and how much of a better picture I have of what I need to fix and how to do it.

I have to admit, I felt pretty hopeless about the whole thing a few days ago. I was even thinking of scrapping the whole thing and starting over. I felt so frustrated, like I was never going to be able to work out all the kinks and discrepancies. Plus I started comparing my writing to other books, and decided that my style was awful and my writing would never be as good. Which I realize now is completely untrue (thank God!). But I pushed through and finished the first round, and now as I read through it for the second time I'm completely reinvigorated and excited about the book again.

I remember my mom telling me that you have to love what you write, because you're going to have to read it over and over and over again. And guess what? I love this book. And I think I love it more every time I read it :)

Query Weary

2010-02-07T20:29:00.000-05:00

I've been working on my query letter. UGH. How am I supposed to narrow down a book with a pretty complex plot to two paragraphs? I believe they have a term for this...cruel and unusual punishment. How come I can't just send a letter like this:

Dear Agent,

I'm sending you my whole manuscript. It's waaayy too good to be summed up in 250 words. You just need to read the whole thing. Pronto. Stat. Tonight. I'm not even going to tell you what it's about at all. Bet you really want to read it now, right? You're dying of curiosity, I know. So end the suspense. You know you want to.

Thanks,

Me.

P.S. I'll be expecting an offer of representation tomorrow, preferably before I go to work at noon. K, thx.

Sigh. If only it worked that way. Back to the working on of a real query letter....

Sick...two weeks early

2010-02-01T09:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sick (just a cold, but still, a nasty one). And it's a conspiracy. I swear.

Every year, for the past, oh, I don't know, three? I've been sick on Valentine's Day. And I mean sick sick, bed-bound, hair in a mess, nose like Rudolph, hacking up a lung, body aching...you get the picture, and it ain't pretty. Luckily my boyfriend has grown used to seeing me at my worst and I'm ok with letting him see me look like a lagoon creature. Mostly because he lies through his teeth and tells me I'm still pretty when I'm sick...snort, yeah right. And he buys me disgusting medicine and forces me to take it, but then bribes me with soda and chocolate if I do. Anyway, me being sick on Valentine's Day and him taking care of me is becoming a sort of tradition.

Well, imagine my surprise when I woke up on Friday morning with an extremely sore throat. I tried to brush it off, convinced that it was just a morning thing and would go away. Ate some cereal, thinking it would help....and nope, still hurting. Cody decided to immediately take action and force me to take disgusting dissolving Zicam thingys. Ewwww..but I was determined not to get sick. Friday night was supposed to go out dancing but decided to stay home and make sure I got enough rest and would go out Saturday. Wake up on Saturday and surprise, surprise, feel worse. Now my nose is stuffy and I'm starting to get that sick achy feeling. I was still determined to ignore it and forced myself to go out dancing. Sunday, had to work almost all day, and by the end had deteriorated to the point where I was at my Valentine's Day worst. That's when my friend remarked "Well, at least your sick now and not on Valentine's Day."

True, I thought. I had escaped my Valentine's Day illness curse! There was no way I was still going to be sick in two weeks. Score! Then I remembered.

My boyfriend isn't going to be here on Valentine's Day.

Not being sick on Valentine's Day wouldn't even matter this year! My boyfriend left this morning for school in Jacksonville for four months! And with no clear idea of when he's going to be able to come home to visit. This was my last weekend to spend with him, and I here I am, so sick that I spent most of his last night sleeping! Oooh, the curse strikes again. Ya got me. Snuck in two weeks early to ruin my weekend.

Time to accept it, the Valentine's Day curse is smarter than me, and does not only apply to Valentine's Day. Clearly it understood that it's only chance to spoil my time with my boyfriend was this weekend, and boy did it work fast!

Here's hoping that next year the curse will be broken but...I'm not holding my breath.

Success!

2010-01-30T19:02:00.000-05:00

I have managed to keep my promise (more or less) to limit my time on the Internet. And....Success! I have made ridiculous progress in my revision of Banished. Am almost done with the first round. Phew! I feel like it is really coming together now. Made a lot of the changes that were suggested and I know the plot is flowing much more smoothly.

Cody leaves for school on Monday, so I will have even more time to avoid Facebook and work on my book. Wish me luck!

Slacker

2010-01-26T18:48:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's me. SLACKER!!!! (when it comes to writing, anyway....okay, and cleaning. but really, who cares about that?)

I had a ton of free time to work on my book this week. My boyfriend was gone for the week, and I spent the better part of most nights home alone. And what did I do with that free time? The answer is...er....I have no idea. I think I watched a lot of tv (hello, The Bachelor!) And probably spent waaaayyyy too much time messing around on the Internet. I did manage to clean the apartment, but it took like two hours. Ooh, I read, a lot. I finished 2 books. But....I didn't work on my own hardly at all, and that is very shameful. Now my boyfriend gets back tomorrow, and between work and spending time with him, I know I'm barely going to glance at my book.

So. New resolution. Wait, is it too late for those? Regardless, I'm limiting my time on the Internet to a half hour a day. Seriously. No more spending hours reading useless news stories and status updates and who knows what else. My goal is to having my manuscript edited and ready to query by the time Cody graduates from school in May.

This is going to be tough.

There aren't enough hours in the day

2010-01-05T23:44:00.000-05:00

to do everything that I want/need to do. I find this both frustrating and unfair. There should be.

First, reading and writing. Always a priority. But at the moment I find myself buried. First, I have a Kindle. New unlimited possibilities for reading, not to mention the ridiculous convenience that is oh so tempting. Second, generous family members gave me 75$ in gift certificates, which I spent 50$ of (to give the Kindle and my bf Cody's credit card a break) which equals 4 books I am drooling to read (actually already finished one). Plus my mom sent me two of her manuscripts, one of which I have started and am enjoying critiquing (minus the sexy scenes...awkward..). And then there's my own manuscript which I am in the middle of revising, and also enjoying. So I am finding myself doing a merry-go-round all day alternating between my Kindle (was in the middle of a book when I started a new one), the paperbacks I bought, my mom's book, and my book.

Second, I made the slight mistake of getting my adorable boyfriend Cody a Wii for Christmas, and then advising his brother to buy him Mario Kart for it. Well. Guess who is his new favorite video game buddy? Yep. Me. And guess who is strangely addicted to it, even though two games makes my eyes bloodshot? Oh yeah, me again.

Third, work. Really starting to get in the way of all the reading/writing/video-game-playing I want to be doing. However, 2 friends who recently quit make me tell myself on repeat: must be thankful I have a job. Must be thankful I have a job.

Fourth, grown-up-boring-type stuff. Bill paying (Ewwwwww). Cleaning (Double ewwwww). Grocery shopping, getting gas, giving the dog a bath, cooking dinner, watering the plants, blah blah blah, all cutting into my fun time considerably.

Fifth, spending time with friends. Which I always, always, always make time for. Time that there is not enough of.

Sixth, wasting time on the Internet. This one is my bad. I spend waaayy too much time on Facebook, checking my e-mail, FML, etc. Hmm...maybe if I cut down on this I would have more time for other things....

I'm thinking I should've paid attention when they taught time management in middle school. They always gave us those planners to write down our homework and things we had to do, but inevitably mine ended up covered in doodles of flowers and hearts and very little useful information. Maybe I should get a new planner!

Nah....

Thanks Mom!

2010-01-01T20:23:00.000-05:00

I don't really have much to write about, but I haven't written a blog for a while and I feel it necessary.

I started revising Banished a few days ago. My mother generously took the time to read it and comment, giving me loads of invaluable advice and insight. And also making me realize how much work I have to do. At first I was completely discouraged. There are major plot points that needto be reworked, or are missing or unexplained altogether. Not to mention numerous grammatical errors, words and phrases that are ridiculously overused, and characters who do not stay consistent. I'm exhausted just writing all that out.

However. I decided to make a short list of the major flaws that need fixing, and just got started. Suddenly I'm feeling very confident as I'm seeing the story improve. The pep talk from Mom about how I have the bones of the story and just need to flesh it out also helped me put the whole thing in perspective. I'm excited that I've got the whole thing down on paper, which is the hardest part for me. Now all I've got to do is make it the best it can be. And surprisingly, I'm looking forward to it.

Confidence in writing

2009-12-17T14:24:00.000-05:00

I have a friend- who shall remain nameless- who has more confidence than anyone I've ever met. Let me rephrase. In this person's opinion, it's confidence. In mine, it actually borders on all-out arrogance and narcissism. And as much as their attitude bothers me, it has made me aware of the importance of having confidence in my writing, and the pitfalls of having too much...or too little.

I'm not sure if other writers have this problem - but I often fall into this little trap. I write a scene, and am convinced that it is the best one ever. It's perfect - the descriptions are vivid, the tension mounts, the characters are progressing, etc. I finish it with a self-satisfied smile and can't even believe how ridiculously talented I am. Surely it's only a matter of time before I land an agent who gets me a six-figure contract with a major publishing house. I am so freaking great. I float around on a cloud of self-importance. I'm like a little kid on Christmas Eve, freshly printed trendy book covers dance in my head.

Then, however long later, I read the scene again. Oh no. This is my future award winning, New York Times bestselling novel! What is that passive writing doing there?? Wait, I used the same adjective over and over? The scene ends like that!?? WHAT WAS I THINKING?

And poof - confidence gone. My fantasies transform from packed book-signings and Today Show interviews to images of myself lying in my bed, staring at piles of rejection letters and bingeing on cool ranch doritos and reese's peanut butter cups. Who am I kidding? I can't write at all. No one is going to publish my work, no one is going to want to read it. Why do I even bother? I start reading my favorite authors (Nancy McKenzie, Janet Evanovich, Kate Brian) and despair harder. I'm never going to be able to write this well.

But I don't give up. Okay, I might still buy the doritos and the candy but I keep writing while I devour. Because I know that the truth is somewhere in between these two extremes. Am I the best writer ever? No, of course not. But am I the worst? No, I don't think so. I might never be as successful as my favorite authors, but that's okay with me. Because I know that I have stories to tell and a way to tell them in a way that no one else can. And I'm going to try to keep my confidence where it should be.

Some days I write better than others, and it's probably never going to be perfect the second it pops out of my head onto the screen. That doesn't mean it's awful, either. It means that I have to keep working on it, and get my writing to be the best that I can make it. The rest, really, is out of my hands. Agents and publishers may like it, and they may not. Readers may like it, and they may not. All my job is is to do the absolute best job I can, with enough confidence to keep me going even when I think my writing is awful, but with not so much that I become blind to the faults.