Puppies Preventing Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy

Is the name of my new (read: nonexistant yet) charity. I think it has a nice ring to it, no? PPUTP, for short.

After many long hours spent watching 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, I realized that there is a very simple solution to the epidemic of teen pregnancy in this country. And that solution is puppies.

*Please note, while I'm somewhat joking, I'm also kind of serious...**

Let's think about this. Why do teenage girls get pregnant?

1. They want someone to love them unconditionally.

2. They want something cute to name, play with, and dress up.

3. They think being responsible for another living being will be easy and fun.

4. They want to keep their boyfriend around.

5. They can't remember to take their birth control properly.

6. They want something that belongs only to them and which no one can take away (well, except for social services)

7. They want to prove that they are mature and independent

Now, can you see how having a puppy would solve many of these issues?

1. There is nothing better than coming home at the end of a long day of high school and part time work at the Quik Stop to a bouncing, tail-yagging puppy that is ecstatic to see you. Sure as hell beats a screaming, poopy baby.

2. Puppies, while squirmy, are still able to be squeezed into baby clothes. Plus it's perfectly acceptable to give your dog a ridiculous, celebrity-inspired name that no child should ever be saddled with (Mango, Rocket, Denim, Kortny, etc.)

3. Ever stayed up all night with a dog who is throwing up two bags of Valentine's candy? Yeah, I haven't either, but my mom did once.

4. I'm not sure a puppy could get a guy to stay in a failing high-school relationship, but it could offer comfort when he inevitably cheats/gets arrested/gets a girl without a puppy pregnant.

5. This is the best one yet. So a lot of teenage girls can't remember to take their pill, right? If they had a puppy, they could just keep it with the puppy's food and take it when they fed the puppy!! Brilliant, I know. Unless they forget to feed the puppy...

6. Well, I suppose animal control could take a puppy, but I hear they are much nicer than the people who take kids. Plus it won't screw a puppy up too bad to be put in a new home wondering what happened to its original mommy or be raised by grandma

7. Nothing like screaming at a cowering puppy after it has had a horrible accident on the carpet and begging your own parents to help you clean it up because it's making you gag to make you realize you are completely unprepared for true parenthood.

Shows you shouldn't watch with your guy

1. Bridezillas/Say Yes to the Dress/My Fair Wedding/4 Weddings, etc.

- Especially if your angling for the ring. He doesn't need this preview of what his life and your sanity might deteriorate into once he's popped the question.

2. Snapped.

- A particular favorite of mine. Turns out making comments like: "Don't these women learn? The hit-man always talks. And a new insurance policy? Dead give-away. **Snorts** Idiots," aren't exactly beneficial to your relationship.

3. 16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom/I didn't know I was pregnant

- Basically any show that has to do with unplanned pregnancies are major no-nos.

4. Bad Girls Club

- Watching trashy drunk girls bitch slap each other might be amusing for you, but...well, actually, he might like that. But the sloppy hook-up sessions and the constant high-pitched screaming? Better save this one for when he's at work.

5. E! News/Entertainment Tonight/Extra/TMZ

- Yes, you need to know which A-list celeb is knocked up by her boyfriend of 2 months, but he probably doesn't even know who she is, much less care what ridiculous inanimate object she's going to name her bundle of joy after.

In addition, if you value your sanity and your relationship, don't try and watch his favorite shows. Yes, he might like you playing the cool girlfriend who hands him the remote, but just one episode of MythBusters or Futurama might be enough to make you question how you can be with a guy who finds this stuff interesting and entertaining.

Starting a new chapter, in more ways than 1

In typical slacker form, it's been almost a month since I posted. Buuutttt, I have an extremely valid excuse in the form of this lovely diamond ring:

In addition to getting engaged (sorry it's kind of a crappy picture), I finally started my new job (going extremely well, thanks) celebrated the holidays, and spent time with friends I hadn't seen in waaayyy too long. Needless to say, all of this craziness left me with about, oh, -10 seconds to write. And to be brutally honest, writing, or at least working on my MS, is not at the top of my priorities at the moment. Sad face.

But.

As a delayed New Year's Resolution, I have resolved to stop buying women's magazines. And to write my blog not just about writing (which hasn't been working too well anyway) and to branch out to write about things I think women might truly care about, find interesting or humorous, etc.

Every month I would stand in line in the grocery store, seduced by glossy magazine covers graced by my favorite celebrities. And every month I was disgusted and bitter that I had spent $4.29 to read "WHAT IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SECRETLY GAY!?" or "WHY TAKEN GUYS SEEM SEXIER" (real titles, btw). I cannot even begin to tell you the ridiculous questions I peppered my boyfriend...ooh, fiance!..... with after reading these articles:

Me: Honey, is it possible you're gay?

Him: WHAT!? NO!!

Me: Are you sure? Because this woman in this article was engaged to this guy for YEARS and never knew he was gay!

Him: **rolls his eyes and walks away*

Me: Would you tell me if you cheated on me?

Him: (suspecting a trick question) I would never cheat on you.

Me: Yeah...but if you did. Would you tell me?

Him: What? Yeah, I guess I would tell you. I mean, wait, no! I wouldn't cheat on you! Why are we having this conversation!?

Me: Well, I just read this article....

Him: **rolls eyes and walks away**

I have finally come to the realization that no matter how cute the covers or enticing the titles, these magazines are actually kind of detrimental to women. Their advice is often contradictory and pandering. Telling women that a relationship can come from a hook-up is not empowering. Talking about nothing but sex and clothes and make-up is not empowering. Scaring them with articles about their impending fertility is not helpful. Yes, there are on occasion genuinely interesting and educational articles, which is what I read these magazines for, but they are so few and far between that it's just not worth it.

So, here's hoping that I can make my blog something worth reading.

Leaving your characters hanging

I always feel bad when I stop writing. I have this image in my head of my characters waiting around wherever I've left them, waiting for me to come back and give them more to do.

Right now my MC is standing in the woods. She has her arms crossed, looking up at the trees with a bored expression on her face. She's tapping her foot. She's giving deep, heartfelt sighs. She is, after all, a rebellious teenager who does not particularly want to be where she is.

A few feet away, her five year old cousin is crouching down and playing in the dirt. She's writing her name with a stick. She's kind of glad to be stuck in the woods, because it means she isn't at home being made to do chores.

My MC's future love interest is up the path through the woods, waiting to be introduced to the MC. They haven't met yet. He really wants me to hurry up, but I'm not sure how exactly it's going to work. He doesn't care. But so far, all I know of him is his name, so he's going to have to wait.

My MC's grandmother is waiting for MC and little cousin to get home from school so she can make them do chores. She gets antsy without people to boss around, and her husband and son are out working in the fields.

And I feel sorry for all of them, because I'm stuck. And therefore, so are they. Let's hope I figure it out before they freeze or are eaten by wolves because they are standing in the woods at night.

Pacing a teenage romance

I recently finished reading a highly anticipated YA novel, and while I enjoyed it, I had a problem with the pacing of the romantic relationship. It took fooorrrreevvveeerrr. Yeah, just like that. And on top of that, their interactions were extraordinarily brief and somewhat shallow, in my opinion. (Well, they were teenagers, so I suppose that is realistic)

On the other hand, I've read YA books where the romantic relationship moves at light speed. Ten pages in and they're in love and ready to run away together.

In my opinion, real teenage relationships fall somewhere in between. Yes, teenagers have intense feelings and tend to rush into things, but they are also for the most part incredibly insecure and afraid of said intense feelings not being reciprocated, so they tend to make absolutely sure of the other person's interest before admitting their own feelings.

The following steps apply to romantic relationships in modern day America, and may have to be adjusted for dystopian/sci-fi/fantasy genres.

1. The crush. The initial awareness of the other person's existence. Usually one-sided. Noticing of desirable physical or personality traits.

2. The "accidental" meeting. In high school, I memorized my crush's schedule so that I could casually be standing in a spot I knew he would pass on his way to his next class. Or made friends with guys on his sports team as an excuse to go to his game. Or happen to show up at the same after school spot where he hung out. If all goes according to plan, at this step the crush will become two-sided.

3. The first hang-out sess. Usually in a group setting, although some one-on-one time can be created. At this time, phone calls and texting are initiated.

4. 3rd party intervention. Friends on either side are made aware of crush and possible long-term interest and seek out confirmation of reciprocated feelings from other party, either directly or indirectly. This is the most important step, as the rest of the relationship hinges on whether or not both parties receive confirmation of like feelings.

5. The date. This can include simply sitting together at lunch if actual first date is not possible, or can include a one-on-one trip to the movies/mall/ etc.

6. Making it official. Facebook, that is. After this, public displays of affection and possessiveness are acceptable. Hating of jealous exes is appropriate, complete isolation from friends often ensues as the relationship gains in intensity and importance.

7. Complete and utter devotion

Obsessions in your writing

I think that all writers have certain obsessions that without fail appear in their writing. I know that mine come from things that have happened to me in my life and that I'm still (and will probably always) be dealing with or thinking about. My obsessions? Here is the list:

1. Death. Especially at a young age. If you missed the reason behind that, you can read my Thanksgiving blog post.

2. Forgiveness.

3. Betrayal.

4. Honesty.

5. Grandparents.

6. Missouri.

7. Florida.

8. Tattoos

9. Teenage romances that aren't perfect and don't end in happily ever after but teach you a lot about yourself.

10. God/religion/the afterlife

11. Puppies

So, what are your obsessions?

Is this glass half full?

Hope everyone had great Thanksgiving. Mine was lovely, with the exception of the bruises. You know, from trying to wrestle my MS Hellbound into submission. We fought, bitterly, for many days, until the merest thought of the damn thing made me so nauseous I almost turned down seconds of apple pie. Almost. Yeah, it got bad.

Therefore I have come to the massively gut-wrenching decision of shelving it for the time being. I desperately wanted to finish it before taking a break from it - I have been working on it steadily for almost a year. And itisthisclose to being done (well, the first draft, anyway). But I am so sick of looking at it that I can't bring myself to open it.

On the bright side, I have had a lightning strike of inspiration for my previous WIP, crappily titled Banished, which I shelved to work on Hellbound. The rough draft of Banished was completed and I was religiously editing when I realized that the plot was not working. I've come up with an idea to fix it, however....

It requires almost a complete re-write.

Sooo....I'd better get to work.