BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Shy

I haven't written a blog, in, uh, forever....hope I remember how. Being sick + working overtime = 0 time to write. Anything.

So, I've spent the last several days blowing my nose and making smoothies. NOT at the same time. That would be gross. Although I did have to the insanely intense urge to cough as I was making a wrap in front of a customer. I've never made a wrap that fast, I basically threw it at her so I could run to the back room and let loose. But I'm getting off track.

I'm relatively new to the blogging, creating an on-line presence thing. And so far, I haven't had any trouble. Well, with the technical side of it. I'm young, and I'm pretty sure understanding technology is a requirement for my generation. But with the whole social side? The entire point of having a blog and twitter and facebook and commenting on writing forums? Yeah, I'm struggling. Because, for some weird reason, when I get on-line, I'm SHY!

There. I said it. I'm shy. Whew, it's a relief to finally admit it!

I'm shy to write comments on people's blogs, or comment on forums, or send friend requests. I hope this doesn't sound crazy. Being on-line and therefore basically anonymous should make it easier to talk to strangers, right? Not for me. They can't see me, can't hear me, don't know where I am or what I'm doing. I could be writing this in my underwear eating cheetos dipped in chocolate syrup (I'm not, btw. Or maybe I am?) But that's the problem. I'm a total stranger. I'm so afraid to leave a comment and have the other person go "Who is the hell is this? And why are they writing this?"

I hate updating my Twitter. How full of myself does it make me to think that someone actually cares what I'm doing? I update my facebook status, but that's because, well, facebook is the one place I actually feel secure in my on-line persona. I'm not DaniSue, the YA writer/blogger. I'm Danielle, the struggling college grad. All my friends on facebook know me as that. And they are my close friends (for the most part) and I know they like reading my status updates and looking at my pictures and duh, they are in a lot of them.

Oh jeez, this does make me sound crazy. Because the rational part of my brain knows that everyone else who is blogging is doing so because they want people to read their thoughts and comment on them. They want to make connections and network and gain knowledge from each other. If they didn't, they wouldn't be writing a blog. And I want people to read my blog and enjoy it and leave me comments too. But the self-conscious, self-esteem gnawing monster in my brain says "No one cares what you have to say. What do you know?" and then it laughs maniacally. So when I want to leave a comment on a blog I have to yell "Shut up!" before I press the "post a comment" button. Then I have to repeat that the person who wrote the blog wants to know what I thought about it. And then after I fill out that goofy letter security thing, I say "ha!". Beat you this time you shy- awkward-left-over-from-my-teens insecurity monster.

6 comments:

Deb Salisbury said...

Hurray for zapping the self-esteem gnawing monster!

I'm shy, too, and when it comes to comments I can't think of much to say. (Thinking about it, I can't think of anything to blog, either. Le sigh.)

I *have* learned that people LOVE comments, even if they are as simple as "I like this." Which is usually all I can manage. So I'm trying to comment more often, even when I think my comment is repetitive, or even slightly silly.

Get well, DaniSue. Don't gross out your customers. ;-)

Shelley Sly said...

Hey there! I'm new to your blog, but I just wanted to comment because 1) I'm also a twenty-something college grad and 2) I'm also shy. It might be hard to tell from my online presence, because I'm actually more comfortable hiding behind a computer screen than in person (so maybe we're opposites?) but I understand how being shy, anywhere, sucks.

You write really well, though, and from your witty opening about blowing your nose and making smoothies, I would have had no idea that you're internet-shy. I'll be following along. Hope you get well soon!

Cheree said...

I can relate, it took me a while to be able to post comments on blogs and forums because I didn't think people wanted to read what I had to say (or would criticize very harshly), but the first step to beating these thoughts is to post anyway, and here you are.

DaniSue said...

Thanks Deb! It takes me forever to think of things to blog and even longer to figure out how to write what I want to say. And your blog is helpful to a lot of people :)

Shelley I'm following your blog now too. Yeah, I'm not too shy in person, working in restaurants I've gotten used to talking to people in person.

Thanks Cheree, I read your blog, I'll practice leaving comments with you!

Lydia Kang said...

I can totally relate. I didn't let my closest online writer friend even know my real name until recently. And with the blogging? I stopped it as soon as I started. And then I blogged about it!
In the end, I had a small group of supportive blogger friends who encouraged me to come out of my shell and it made a difference. Congrats on leaving the shell! At least for now!

Mayowa said...

I think your humility is just great.

At the end of the day though you're going to be a confident/awesome blogger because you are a writer. No profession is more sharing, more vulnerable and more deathly sure that the world needs to listen than Writing.


Good luck and i'll be sure to keep coming back.